Wednesday, September 29, 2010

“Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God.”- John 3:20-21
Isaiah 7-8, Ephesians 2

Well I see that it's been a bit since i've posted. I've actually been really struggling to stay awake past 11 lately has been a chore. Then with Melissa and the girls coming, I've been quite busy during the days as well. No wonder I'm worn out. But it is something I wouldn't change for anything in the world. I love having them here with me. It's been fabulous.
I started walking again. It's been nice. I'm going with Mandy's mom, Susan. Sweet sweet lady. Going through a hell of a time and really needs a listening ear. So while she gets things off her chest we walk around a gorgeous duck pond. The track is half mile long and so far we've covered two miles. We just started last night. They even have a work out field with equipment, it's gravity controlled, so you work on your own weight. It's really cool..
But anyway, I wanted to check in since it's been a bit. But can promise, even though I've not blogged, I have still been faithfully reading my daily verses. Just not blogging them all..

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Saturday 25th

“My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.”- 1 John 2:1
Song of Solomon 6-8, Galatians 4

Considering the fact that I slept from like 9 pm till 2:30am then I stayed up till around 6:30 when my husband calls me and says he has a blown out tire and the spare doesn't fit. Go figure. We have had nothing but problems with damn tires. Never trust Northern back yard mechanics.. They are just not as with it as southeners. First one mechanic, when replacing gas tank never put back our spare and we wound up stranded in the middle of no where in Northern Maine. And now hubby's cousin, a back yard mechanic gives him a tire and says it will fit, use it for your spare. Sure!
So I had to wake the neighbor to see if I could use her car to go and help. Mind you he is over 30 mins away. I not only had to wake her, but she had to come out and move her sister in laws car. GREAT! I finally get out there and he is struggling with one lug that is so tight on there, when we both worked at it with the lug wrench and a long pipe for leverage, we couldnt get it off. I had to drive him all the way home to get more tools and his torch to heat it up to soften it up. The torch finally worked after twenty mins of straight heat.
Then we actually get the spare on the back (even though it is over 2 inches bigger) and he drove it home, so we could drop off the neighbor's car and then drove to Walmart to purchase a new tire. The lady says, Oh it will be over an hour before it's done. GREAT! Ok, I'll do my shopping while we wait. I walked that store for a good 45 mins.
I knew I was tired because my shoulders and neck started going out on me and the black spots were appearing. The spots work it's way to complete blackness after awhile. Thank God it's only for a second or two, but it's an eerie feeling while standing up and you start to get dizzy with it. As soon as you get the full on effect of dizzy, you go back to normal. I'm told that is a common fibro thing and that it happens sitting or standing. Which I know, I've had it on the motorcycle (thank God as a passenger) and also in a swimming pool. But non the less it's a scary feeling. So I ended up going back to wait on their bench.
Finally we made it home around 12:30 and I ate lunch. Breakfast consisted of a cinnamon danish (yes I know) and a razzberry ice tea. I ate left over veg. stir fry. And headed up with my hubby for more sleep. My poor hubby was wiped after working all night.
Anyway, to make this long story come to an end, He is now headed back to work and I'm patiently, not so patiently waiting for our daughter and twin granddaughters to get here. They are like another two and half to three hours away. Even though, i would love to go and crawl under my covers with the ceiling fan on high and go to sleep till they get here. But I'm too anxious now b/c they are so close. We haven't seen them for over six months. My poor hubby had to go to work.. He won't be home until around 7 in the morning..

Friday, September 24, 2010

thurs 9/23

“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.”- Hebrews 10:35-36
Song of Solomon 1-3, Galatians 2
I'm getting so excited. In approx. 4 hours or so Melissa, Amanda and the twins will load up in Mel's truck and head south.. YES! She is officially moving down here. OMG I'm so anxious. My heart still breaks to the idea that my son is still up there. I can't believe how much it gets to me knowing that he remains with his dad. He tells me on the phone that he is happy. But I can't imagine how. He is treated like crap. I can hear it when we talk. I can hear it in his voice. Xmas is three months away and I've got to get the money up for that child to have a plane ticket down. I cannot bare to be w/o him for much longer.
Then come February (hoping around mid winter vacation) we'll go up to pick him up when we go and get Melissa's things in storage. Then I will fly him back to be able to start school. Then we will see from there. But in the meantime it breaks my heart knowing that we are so far apart and have so long till we can be together again. But I'm told this is best, he chose it. If it's meant to be, he will move down permanently. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed and I pray daily for him..
He was so cool, his friend told him that Jw had a special gift. So he looked it up in the bible and read to me what he read. It was neat to hear him read about the gift of tongues. For I was just reading that awhile back and texting Mike at work certain verses that lifted me. It was cool that he liked the same verses.. Jw has grown so much in the church. He loves the Lord so much. His testimony has grown by leaps and bounds. He tells me tonight, "I think the Lord is telling me things Mom." I said in reply, "The Lord speaks to us all, so I truly believe he is son, Now open you heart and listen to what he has to say." I'm so proud of him..
Oh well, didn't do much today again. My hips and upper thighs are very sore again. Had hard time moving and such. I did cook dinner and get Mike's lunch. After he went to work I took a shower and then relaxed till I fell asleep. And yet again, I woke at 2:30 only to be awake yet once again.. hmmm When will this end???

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

sept 22

Ecclesiates 7:14 When times are good, be happy;
but when times are bad, consider:
God has made the one
as well as the other.
Therefore, a man cannot discover
anything about his future.
Boy does that make one sit back and think. hmm. So does that mean in all our times of trouble.. We have a learning expirience and we must learn from it.. I'd say.. Just like every trial there is a treasure.. WOW!!!
I did pretty well here and then went out of this page, I guess before saving it. So now I have nothing that i've written go figure. I haven't written Since What Saturday or Sunday. I've been so exhausted. I'm sure it's total recovery over the weekend with Barry here. We had a decent time. With the lack of sleep that I had though, it really played a huge role on these last few days. I've been wiped out the entire day. ALL I want to do is sleep. But i would refuse to do even an hour, so I could attempt to sleep at my regular times. Alot of good it did. Once I would be asleep, after a couple of hours I would wake again and have a hard time going back to sleep. Both Monday and Tuesday i have gottne out of bed at a very early time. Monday was 9am and Tuesday was 7am. So last night by the time we finished dinner and finished making Mike's lunch, i was ready to fall over. But I had to do laundry.
I finished that by ten and I nodded off and on at the computer till 11 and past out till 2am. I've been awake ever since. But I'm so ready now to go back to sleep. But I knew I had to do some catch up on my bible reading. I hate missing so many days. I'm up to weds message. I'll do that tonight. I need to close my eyes the last few hours before Mike gets home from work. Luckily he has to drop a boy off at DJJ. so that will give me to like 9 before he shows up...
I will post some pics of our weekend w/Barry and some of today from our *mike and I* ride and river stuff. So till then G'nite!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Friday Sept 17th

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”- Philippians 2:3-4

Proverbs 27-29, 2 Corinthians 10

It was a pretty good day today. I slept till five thirty pm and had to rush to get supper and Mike's lunch but it all worked out as well as me getting house vacuumed, bathrooms spotless, and floors done. Love it! My house looks good.
Barry made it here by ten tonight. It took him 8 hours to ride up from Orlando. He says to me, unless i can get a really cheap flight up, don't expect me to ride up again. LOL It took alot out of him to do this. but then at One o'clock in the morning he says, come on let's go for a ride and get something to eat. LOL So we rode down to Whataburger and got burgers and fries. I cheated a bit and got a root beer. It's a bit off the diet plan, but when the end of the day comes, it will be actually under my total caloric intake. So I'm good. Which will make up for tomorrow's intake. LOL We are going out tomorrow night for supper. Barry's treat. Go figure. How cool is that? I love it!!! above is pics of the site I use and one of the nutrition trackers. And pic of the logo..
It feels so good to have company for US this time. Since we've been down here, people has come and gone from this house. We've never had someone come from out of town to visit. It's even nicer b/c technically he's from out of state. LOL But I guess it really wouldn't count since he drove up from Orlando. lol
Oh well, good news is even with all the sleep I've gotten today, I'm still pretty beat. But in hour wise, I only got like five and half hours sleep. No wonder I'm tired. But it will work out nice for tomorrow. I won't be sleeping the day away with him here... I like that idea.
I'll get a picture of Whataburger. I've never heard of it, till we moved her. It is a really cool place. It's kind of set up like the Wendy's in Middletown. But I have to say that the burgers out rank in taste and moistness all the fast food places I've been to... NICE!!! Will definantly go back there from now on, instead of Sonic...

Friday, September 17, 2010

Thurs. 9/16

“Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children”- Ephesians 5:1
Proverbs 25-26, 2 Corinthians 9

Today has been a very laid back, relaxing, regrouping type of day. I slept til five thirty. I hate sleeping that late. Then I'm rushed to fix supper, clean that up, make Mike's lunch for work then get him out the door on time. It's a whole rushing manner. I hate it. Mike is like don't sweat it. It's not that late, you'll be fine. I'm like you don't understand. It's so hard to go to sleep and hard enough to stay asleep at times. Especially if he wakes before me. He is so voiceterous and is not quiet by no means. So I wake, sleep, wake, sleep, wake. And he wonders why I get cranky over it. lol He made it all a joke and tried to tease me the whole entire time. Oh well, it could be worse. I could be so crabby that he crabs right back. I guess he is trying to lighten the mood.
I also learned that I'm taking in alot more calories then I'm suppose to. Here I thought I was doing really well in cooking healthier and eating less. And I'm still like 500 to 1000 calories over my caloric intake. It scares me to think what I was eating before I started cutting back. Wow! Imagine that???
I also woke very sore today. My knees felt liek they were giving out on me and my hips were hurting. To think all those trips up the neighbor's stairs did me in..Another great reason to why I really need my own washer and dryer.. Between the lugging back and forth to the laundry mat or the numerous stair climbing to do it next door. It's not in the best interest for my health. lol NO really it's too much for my fibro. It causes me to take a two day break of doing hardly nothing. I hate that!!
We are getting excited. Barry (my ex's brother) is coming for a couple days. Can't wait, love him like my own brother. I'll have some good stuff to blog about with him around. Maybe we'll all go riding this weekend and show him the sites... LOVE IT!!!!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Weds. sept 15

“[Two Kinds of Wisdom] Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.”- James 3:13
Proverbs 22-24, 2 Corinthians 8

It was a decent day today. I got to sleep in due to the fact that I didn't fall asleep till almost 8:30 this morning. So I ended up sleeping up till around 4:30. Wow! So now let's see. That's going to put a damper in our company coming this weekend. My ex-brother in law is coming up till Sunday sometime. Can't wait. Haven't seen this guy in a number of years. He is living down in Orlando, going to the Harley school down there. He's going to be a HD mechanic. AWESOME! I"m sure in the 18 months that he will be going to school, we'll probably see an awful lot of him.
I did get a load of laundry done at the neighbor's today. Did I tell you that I have the best neighbors. They are awesome! They let us use their cars when needed, just hand over the keys. When the truck was down and out, Mike used their car to go to work over night. I use their machines for wash (they won't let me pay for the usage) and to boot they alway make triple amounts of food and invite us over ALOT! They just rock!! Granted Teresa has an ancient dryer and it may take two or more hours to dry (after you let it cool down from it shutting itself off) but hey, who's complaining when it's free?
When I finally got back tonight at one thirty (am) so yes technically it's Thursday already. But who's that technical? lol Played my frontierville in Facebook for a bit. Now that I've done my reading, i need to go up and fold and put away the clothes. That would be nice.. HUH?? Lol

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Tuesday Sept 14

I guess I needed some much needed rest. I didn't actually get to sleep till like well after one o'clock then. After i did his test, I started to read my book. I got into enough to keep me awake a bit longer. Then I ended up sleeping off and on till like 2pm this afternoon. Go figure. I wonder sometimes, if when Mike woke before me and actually left the room and was pretty quiet, that I would sleep alot more soundly and take less time. But no, he wakes, lounges in the bed for like two and half hours, playing with the dogs, on the computer laughing and talking to it. Then he decides time to eat, so he goes downstairs, eats and lets the dogs out.. have no clue what else he did but after awhile he came back up stairs to get online again for a bit. then decides I'll go change the oil now. LOL he's put it off forever. After he drained it, he came back upstairs piddled around again. Then after a bit says outloud, "guess I'll go and put the new oil in now." Geesh! by now I've finally decided it's hopeless he will be back when he is done. So i start to roll over and get myself awake for him to come back.
When I finally got myself off the computer and decided i needed to go down and eat myself, it was after three thirty. After eating, I was amazingly energetic enough to sweep, mop, vaccum and clean the downstairs bathroom.Oh and I trimmed Mike's hair, shaved his neck, and did his eyebrows and mustache. NICE! No more gorrilla man.. lol then finally around six I started dinner. Not too bad except for the fact that no sooner did we finish that I had to start making Mike's lunch for work. All the while we watched dvd's of CSI Las Vegas. cool beans.
Over all it was a good day and I enjoyed it just the same. I love when I feel good and not have alot of major pains. They are far and few between in my life. So I take advantage while I can.
Todays reading is:Proverbs 19-21, 2 Corinthians 7
“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.”- 1 John 4:16
I've written enough so I won't dwell on the reading. unless I fall in love with something.

Monday Sept 13

Ok so I got lucky enough for a second terrific day (IN A ROW) how cool is that? I woke up feeling good, the sun was out, it was quite warm. I got up and straightened my hair, put make up on and earrings to boot. Then went down to eat and I packed a lunch and decided to head to Pensacola . Our plans were to go to the Harley shop, then retreat back to one of the big parks in downtown P'cola. But we decided to take our time and go up through past Mikes work and take his directions toward the DJJ. (he still needs to learn them for himself for transports) What a great ride. I love driving down long country roads, rather then the highways. We were only on the Hwy for like five mins.
We ended up spending like 1.5 hrs in the HD shop and came out and ate our sandwiches. It was already five Pm. We decided after walking all around for so long, we were through with that. So we decided to take the Long way back home with No hwy at all. So we went down Rt90 til we hit downtown Milton and shot back across 87 toward Jay/Brewton. then we went back down Rt4 by his work to the river beach in Milton. We've always wanted to stop and walk around and check it out. So it was a perfect oppotunity for the bathroom stop. We then walked down to the river and along the shore line. How cool it was. White sand, clear water. Can't beat it. Then we decided it was much nicer then the beach. It has a kids park as well as picnic tables with grills. Pavillions if it rains. Can't beat all that.
We finally made it home by 8 and had some supper. So now I'm in the bed ready for sleep as Mike is on the computer waiting for 11pm to do his last sugar test. Then I'll be out for the count.

Sunday Sept 12

What a fabulous day, I've had. And to think it almost didn't happen.I almost didn't even get out of bed to get this great day. We ended up going to the 11 Am service today. Wow! what a rush! Pastor Mark spoke about our Best Friend, or should be our Best friend, the Holy Spirit. The whole entire meeting was so fulfilling, all you could do was let it pour over through you eyes. (does that sound weird) even Mike had tears in his eyes. That's rare, but it happens.
I learned Spirit of God in Hebrew is Ruak (sp I'm sure)and in Greek is Numa (again Sp) the definiton that we got from Faith is: Believing in what is unseen. So wouldn't having faith in the Trinity be the Same. Which makes us more blessed then even the Apostles. How cool is that? The Holy Spirit has been claimed or refered to the wind. why?
1)B.C He is unseen (he wants to be expirienced first. In John 20:29 2) He is unpredictable John 3:8 3) He is powerful! Acts 1:5-8
In Ephesians it says ... Be filled with the Spirit.
Benifits of the spirit 1)rest Isaiah 63:14 2) Direction Romans 8:26,27 3) Freedom Romans 8:9 9) Power! Corinthians 2:4,5 5) Ministry in Acts.. When filled w/ the Spirit ) is was and still is for ministry.
Luke 4:18,19
My thoughts to this is, To be filled with the Spirit comes with many responsibilities but with many many blessings. Like Pastor Mark said if you put all your problems, faults, sins, desires in to the Lord's hands and become filled with the Spirit_ HE will take care of you and see you through, to change all your "trials in to Treasures" (that wasn't his words, they are Anne Bosman's, but when P. Mark said his phrase all I could think of was Sis B's and missed his. But it's all the same) This seems like the HARDEST thing in the world to do. It's my prayer to be filled with the spirit. So we may put all our trials to the Lord and let Him guide us in the handling and allow us to have the Holy Spirit as our best friend.
Now after getting home and eating our lunch and taking a much needed nap with Mike all snuggled up. We woke and spent our evening together talking and enjoying each other for the remainder of the night till he slept . I then at 1:30 in the morning started reading my book till I fell asleep. Too tired to concentrate on scripture after all that. Saved my scripture reading for Monday to do double.
Thank you Father for the most glorious day.. It's been such a long time since I've had one that good.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Sat 9/11

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”- Philippians 4:4
Proverbs 10-12, 2 Corinthians 4

Prov.10:25 When the storm has swept by, the wicked are gone,
but the righteous stand firm forever.
Makes one really want to be the best they can be to prevent such actions.
Prov 11:21 Be sure of this: The wicked will not go unpunished,
but those who are righteous will go free.
2Corinthians 4 is so powerful... Goodness, it's so much in that chapt that just tells it like it is. It's so much to cut and paste everything. One must literally read it for themselves. It's so funny how you get into reading things, that you've heard all your life and then out of the blue it just bowls you right over and you just are like, "WoW! That is just awesome!"
but this indeed winds it up to the MAX:
Cor 4:16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
It's a blessing to know what ever I'm feeling today, yesterday or tomorrow, on the inside I'm getting better and better and better. b/c what is unseen (unfelt I like to think it) is ETERNAL!
Beautiful. Now as for this being Sept. 11th and the remembrance of those lives that were lost in the bombings, we take note that I'm sure the Lord has blessed them and the wicked will have their time also. B/c God is a JUST GOD!!!

Friday, September 10, 2010

Fri Sept 10

“[A song of ascents.] I lift up my eyes to the hills— where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.”- Psalm 121:1-2
Proverbs 8-9, 2 Corinthians 3
Well today went well with out a hitch. Needless to say I think I made it asleep around 6 this morning and by nine, I was awake again when Mike got home. So sometime after ten or so I finally made my way up and went to the bank got the money out, paid off loan and then went to the thrift shop and bought 7 books for $.74 I decided if I have to pinch my pennies tight for the rest of the month, then I need to shop as cheap as I can. So instead of $5 a week, I went less then a dollar for two weeks. So now I can spend a bit more on groceries and cleaning supplies. Not bad.
Tomorrow, we have to Mike's appt for 9. I'm really worried what that appt is going to entail. I know that his A1C will be horrible. So as I said last night, I know that he will get another lecture and then hopefully she will do alot of changes for him to follow. Then around 11 we get Mel's money to her and then I have to shop for groceries and cleaning supplies. Fun! SUre!!! Oh well. But with very little sleep this morning and a couple hours this afternoon, I'm so ready to go to bed now. It amazes me that it's long before normal time. It's not even 2am. Go figure. Awesome...

Thurs. Sept 9

“Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.”- Isaiah 46:4 Isn't that a real blessing to know, no matter what we look like He will carry us, He will sustain us, rescue. Amen. For if I keep going the way I am, rescuing will definitely be my need. (said in jest but shouldn't)
Proverbs 6-7, 2 Corinthians 2

Well I'm not sure if my answered prayer is an answered prayer for Melissa. But She isn't getting a trailer to tow behind the truck now. Back a couple years ago they had issues with Firestone tires and such on Ford Explorers and I'm imagining other issues with the truck. B/c Uhaul will not rent in good standing to her b/c of that reason. So instead she is buying a big $20 thing to bungee cord on top of the truck that will zip in all the clothes and some other things on the roof of the truck. Then what ever else she can fit inside the truck she will bring down. Anything else she is sticking inside a storage unit and will then go up mid February to rent a Uhaul truck or what ever and drive it back down that way.
This helps so much. We are able to pay off the remaining of the bills for the month of September, get the brakes for the truck and still have enough money for gas and food. Can't beat that. No more worrying where it was all going to be coming from. Thank you Lord for answering my prayer. What Melissa needs she can always get down here, like we did. It's a slow process but it works. We've been here four months and we have everything now, except for a washer and dryer. And I'm going looking for that in the next couple of weeks also. With That many extra ppl here and what it takes for me to lug it all to the mat and back and what not, I'd rather just have one here and get it over with. So will have to really scout around.
Anyway, that's about all that is new around here. Not a whole lot. Tomorrow is payday so I'll be pretty busy. Have to go to bank, payday loan place. And walmart. that's about it until Saturday, I'll have more running around to do. Oh well. Could be worse.
Hey you would be so proud of me. I made steak on the Foreman, egg noodles with seasonings and shredded cheese, and beats for supper. I ate a piece of steak the size of a deck and half of cards (getting there lol) a 1/2 cup of noodles, and 1/4 cup beats. I used the last of the White gravy to go with it and only put like 1/8 of a cup on meat and noodles. Not like I usually just load the things. I'm proud of myself. Mike only had one plate also. How cool is that? Then later I had a peanut butter and fluff on whole wheat bread with skim milk, and last meal of the night I had three small celery sticks with lite pbutter on them, and one cup of my berry berry yogurt delights. The entire day I only had my glass of milk and ice water. No tea, no coffee, nothing.. just that Imagine that. Woo hoo!!!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

weds 9/8/10

“Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.”- Titus 2:2
Proverbs 3-5, 2 Corinthians 1
1 My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, 2 for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity.

Well last night after I had awakened and stayed awake till like five AM, like now it's almost 4:30. Anyway, I text Mike letting him know that I had woke up and he text back to tell me that he was hoping I would wake and text him. I thought, well why? Anyway he comes back and says," I wanted to tell you that I really do love you and I'm so glad that you are in my life. I was really scared today at the Dr's and I'm just glad that you are around to be with me." I told him and reassured him how much I truly love him and how much I worry about his over all health and reasons being why I try to come down on him with his Non-aggressive actions in taking care of his diabetic self. i told him how much I worry if he will be around for a time. How much i would hate to see him gone. What would I do w/o him. He replied with how he wonders what Melissa and I would do w/o him. Granted we would do like any other family would do and sadly carry on. But being that I've only been with him for ten years and only been happy for probably five of those years. I am going to be greedy and desire more time. He is only 49 years old. He needs to step up and take serious aggressive action in taking care of himself and get his buns in gear. Come on now. If a Dr says, "you need to test your sugar daily, if not more then once daily." Then Damn it.. Test!!! If they say, "only eat according to a diabetic diet and lose weight." Then Damn it.. Do it!!! it's the ONLY way to stay alive, then by all means do it. It just seems he is good for so long, then he falls right back in the same groove. It's so much easier i guess to do it the wrong way , then it is to do it the correct way..
Granted I have no room to talk. If I maintained a Fibromyagic diet, I would feel better more days then I feel worse. If I took medications like I was suppose to, I would feel better then I do. So in turn we are both slowly killing ourselves and we need to step up and take action to change it. And texting With him last night, I told him that you not only need it, but WE both need it. And we need to see to it, that we do it and stick with it. Simple as that. Even though, we all know it's not simple, just how it is...
But considering Mike is NOT a vocal affectionate type of guy. And alot of times he will not come out and say with his mouth, "I love you" he does every once in awhile come out in a text and tell me. And let me tell you, it's just as awesome seeing it in print as it is hearing it come out of his mouth. Sometimes better.
So We are going to struggle the best we can till the end of the month to eat accordingly. But come next month, we should have no excuses to how we eat.. We need to make sure we do our best in keeping up with a proper diet and exercise the best we can. Let's get the BP down, the weight down, and all his numbers of his sugar counts down down down. Let's live another 15+ 5 years together and be happy.. I will be happy with longer. but pray for that at least.. But need to take it one day at a time anyway..
Please if you read this, pray for us. Pray that we can have the strength and efforts to correct our wrongs and build on our rights and get better/ healthier. Thank you....

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Tues Sept. 7th

“We proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ.”- Colossians 1:28

I wasn't going to post today. But for the daily scripture, I happened to like what it said, so I figured while I'm here. I did do the reading but nothing really jumped out at me so I left it alone.
Then I figured while I'm here might as well tell you about the Hell of a day that I have had. Before I fall back asleep. Anyway, I've been syked about today for just about four days. Today was the day that Mike and I finally get to go see a new Dr here in Crestview. Mike gets to get his A1C as well as his med scripts refilled. I myself, finally get up the nerve to know that I'm not Super woman and it's time to stop the daily fight of how much pain can I stand till I drop. Ok so now you get the picture.
I get so worked up about going that I get hardly any sleep what so ever over the whole thing, b/c I guess I'm very nervous if this Dr is knowledgeable about Fibromyalgia to begin with. Alot of them are or just go with the mainstream and hand out meds and deal with it that way. So we get there and fill out all our information on a new computer clip typd board. Mind you I did for both of us. God forbid Mike does it on his own. Takes me all but maybe a half hour to get it all done. I'm squirming back and forth in the this uncomfy chair and really starting to get antsy b/c I'm in so much pain. Only to find out that Mike's insurance STILL hasn't put me on the policy (that should have taken effect like two months ago and didn't) So either I have to pay $250 up front and get re-embursed or not be seen. Guess what, I don't get seen.
Then, they ask for payment up front. I give Mike a check and five mins later they call him back and say, "we can't take your check. The bank declined it." OH REALLY! Ok now why?? Last I checked I have over draft and so if I didn't even have the funds in there, I know it should be covered.. Is it not just Walmart that does this to me? So I get angry and leave Mike there and drive to the bank to cash Jason's check he gave me for his weekly rent. Teller asks me, "Mrs. St. Jean are you able to bring your acct. current today?" I'm like, " really, I didn't know it was behind. Which last I checked two days ago, there was some money in there. Maybe under $20 but cash in there. How much in the negative am I?" She returns, " $49." I say, " Umm not really I just left my husband at the Dr's office adn they will not see him unless we give them $30 upfront. He gets his direct deposit Friday, it will bring it current then." She's good with that and cashes the check.
So back to the Dr's I go, give the receptionist the cash this time and finally another half hour they call Mike in and ONLY Mike. I'm not allowed to go into the office w/o him. Mind you since his MRSA episode and major surgery, I've gone to EVERY appt with him and spoken to the Dr's myself about his medical condition and resonsiblities adn they tell me, NO you may not go in with him." This sets Mike in a mood that he become flipant. He's not back there 10 mins and she comes back and says, " Your assistance is needed please." I just laughed and said, I figured as much.
I get back there and I have to name off the list of meds and doses he takes b/c the computer clip board didn't even record it. Then she tells me that his BP is sky rocketed and he keeps up with what he is doing it can cause him a heart attack or stroke. Then proceeds to ask him what his sugars have been. I chuckled and said, "you won't get that answer b/c he doesn't test." A man who is almost 50 years old and refuses to prick his finger b/c it hurts. OK here comes the lecture. And she gave it to him but not a firm as I was hoping. She then proceeds to tell him that he needs bloodwork done for his A1C and cholesteral levels. He gets all hyped up b/c he doesn't like the idea that the Dr does her own bloodwork in the office itself. Give me a break! I think it's better that way. So of course she comes out with this needle that is like bigger then a mattress needle (I pray he doesn't look at it lol) and she proceeds to stick it in his arm on the inside of his elbow. His vein collapsed upon entry. So now she has to move it around and refind another spot. So he is just fidgeting in his seat and trying to be respectful at the same time. After taking three vials of blood, she says, " let's test your BP again and see if it's still up there." I shake my head and roll my eyes. Ok lady, you've insulted him, you've told him at almost 50 he needs to be mature enough to handle his own medical issues and know everything and then you (in his eyes) muttelated him to get blood. Yeh this will be good!
As she retakes it, she says, " it's still high. I'm going to give you a pill to take and I want you to go and sit in the waiting area for about ten mins an I'll check it again. Your not leaving here until I know it's safe. Alrighty then. I'm so worked up by now, worried what he will say or do out in the waiting room. I'm already totally upset over the insurance issue with me to begin with. His co pay was suppose to be ONLY $10-$15. And b/c they didn't update the way they were suppose to it doubled. I took Mike's gas money for work to pay the extra. Go figure. Worry about that later.
So finally she calls him back in and tells him, "I want you to start these new pills that are especially for diabetics, and high blood pressure. Then, I want you back here Saturday morning at 9Am to check it again with the new meds." Then she sticks her head out the door to me and gives me the schedule on taking his new pills and tells me his next appt time. Great another $30.
By now, my body is shot, I'm shaking and very out of it and he's beyond able to drive. HA! so I say Ok, I take us straight home and I'm done.. I get home and stretch out on the couch and want to just break down and cry. The pain has over taken me and nothing else I can do but suck it up. Then of course, the body temp drops due the new onset flare up and I start to shiver. I wrap in the blanket and tell Mike, you have to find something to eat,I am goign to lay for as long as I can stand it. I was DONE!!!
Needless to say, he did fine. He is good at fending for himself. I did end up getting up b/c after too long you have to. So I made his lunch for work and he went upstairs to get the extra stuff he puts in his lunch and bring it down. So that was a huge help. Then right after he left for work I came up and took one of my "borrowed pain pills" (shouldnt say borrowed she actually gave them to me.. Thank Goodness) and I went on facebook till I fell asleep. When i rolled into a trigger spot I woke up and rubbed my face and realized I still had my makeup on. so off that had to come and been doing this ever since.
But since I'm forcing to keep my eye lids open. I'm going to close up say good night to my hubby at work and I'm going to go back to sleep. G'nite...

Monday, September 6, 2010

Sun/mon labor day 2010

Well another short lived day. I'm sure by now one would think of me a broken rec'd. I put in about pain or not to know when I look back. Another very disappointed day for not making it to church either:/ I hate not making it to church. It's so unfair!!! I enjoy everything about it, the music, the teachings, the people. It's like my most inspired part of the week to make me feel so blessed. Then when I don't make it, I feel an emptiness w/o it..
We finally got out of bed around 4 today. I was so sore in my shoulders, blades and neck. I hated it. Tuesday is coming, just not fast enough. I need a pain pill to over power the pain. Not just take a small edge off. I got a nice pork chop dinner with mashed potatoes, peas and a nice white gravy from scratch. I think I impressed Mike. I never make anything from scratch. Have to do that more often. lol
Went next door around 7 to get my clothes. They were still wet in the dryer so I finished them up. Then went back at ten of 8 and put in another load. My Goodness it took till One thirty to get them done. Their lovely dryer is on it's last leg. But finally I finished got them home, now I must get up stairs and fold and put away both loads. That's the part I hate the most! I can wash and dry all day. But hate putting them away. Wonder why..... Oh well, HAPPY LABOR DAY!!!

“Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.”- John 14:23 That's pretty simple I'd say. Wouldn't you??
Psalm 148-150, 1 Corinthians 15:29-58

148:13 Let them praise the name of the LORD,
for his name alone is exalted;
his splendor is above the earth and the heavens. That's just awesome!
1 Corinthians 15
55"Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?"[e] 56The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

58Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.
Imagine not having the blessings of our Lord. Imagine feeling the sting of death. Umm NO THANKs! I'm so grateful for the knowledge of doing and living for our LOrd..

Saturday, September 4, 2010

sat/sun 4th sept script./personal

“Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”- Matthew 28:18-20
Psalm 146-147, 1 Corinthians 15:1-28

1 Praise the LORD. [a]
Praise the LORD, O my soul.

2 I will praise the LORD all my life;
I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.

Today was such a nice day. I got to spend some quality time with my love and we got to go out to eat together before he had to come home and get ready for work. It was so nice. And to think the entire days spent with him, I didn't have alot of pain and I didn't have a headache at all. I just love it! It was so special..I JUST LOVE HIM!!! Everyday he gives me more reasons why I love him.
Being that Mike is a bean buster. He loves to bust beans to see what kind of attention he will get from it. One of the things he jokes about is "not being married" or he'll say, I'm not married today.. He puts things on his FB page about flirting.. He is a major flirt with anyone. That is just him, just like I flirt too. Everyone knows it's all just in fun. It is put out there that we are married and that it's all innocent. Anyway, he puts on his page, that his relationship is complicated due to blondes, brunettes, and red heads. People are like, aren't you married?? LOL he's like yes and what does that have to do with anything. LOL He knows I know what he put, he knows that it's all in jest. Now he puts on there, besides the complicated part. He puts, " Its hard to say that I'm married when I'm in the middle of such a long mid life crisis." I'm not sure if that is verbatim but anyway, I thought, WOW! I took a step up in the world. It used to be, I'm not married, I don't want to be married then it went into a huge joke of it, now he graduated or I did not sure which one, to he knows he is married it's just hard to admit when he is in such crisis. LOL And he just sits back and waits for people to make comments and to see what he says. He's such a nutcase!!!
I'm so glad that I know for a fact that he loves me with all of his heart and his actions are loud and clear. B/c if I had any doubts about us, I would really wonder myself if he was kidding or not. But in the past two years we have worked very hard to were we are today and I know that he wouldn't live with out me. He has proven that one too many times. But it is his gestures and his actions and little tid bits that he tells me through the days that I fall for him more and more each time. You just can't beat it.. That's why I love him sooo much. I actually appreciate his sense of humor. Some times it's off color. But I take the good with the bad and roll with it..

Friday, September 3, 2010

Friday/sat 3rd/4th personal

Today was a tough one. I did very little yesterday. But still woke with my shoulder blades a mess and my head and neck still hurting. I'm so Glad that it's almost Tuesday and I'll be going to the Dr's for that appt. I really am not leaving until they give me something for all these issues. I'm so done.. I'm not a super woman and I just can't with stand it any longer. So will have to see what the weekend brings. Who knows. I didn't do much but cook an easy supper and make Mike's lunch. That was it.. I lounged around outside while Mike raked the yard, front and back. That was it. got on FB for a bit,played Frontierville and now reading and blogging. Now i'm ready for bed.. Good night all...

scripture of day/ daily for sept3/4

“What you heard from me, keep as the pattern of sound teaching, with faith and love in Christ Jesus. Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you—guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us.”- 2 Timothy 1:13-14
Psalm 143-145, 1 Corinthians 14:21-40

Psalms are prayers to the Lord for hearing one's prayers and asking for protections. And Corinthians speaks more about talking in tongues and allowing it and such.
Sorry it's a tough night tonight with my neck and back hurting that I am really not that much into it, but needed to make sure I did the reading. There really wasn't alot that jumped out at me for now except one part in 1 Corin. 14:33 "For God is not a God of disorder but of peace. As in all the congregations of the saints, 34women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. 35If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church. " As you read further it goes back down into not forbiding speaking in tongues.. Never acknowledges the idea of anything that has to do with women. I'm so lost.. Is this true or was it just that way back in the days the bible was written?

thurs/fri 2sept personal note

Today started out to being a very painful one. Oh I had such back and neck pains. NO headache, which is nice though. But I finally crawled out of bed and drug myself to the shower. Afterward, I came down and took some excedrin to take some edge-ness off. B/c I won't take a Neurontine during the day time, right now. I made a dr's appt with a new dr down here in Crestview. I hope that Mike likes this dr. I hate chasing down dr's for him. I try and tell him not everyone is Franky and no one is as easy as he is. So I hope he goes in with an open mind. For me though, I'm really pushing that I need something to help with these flares that I'm having more and more each time. And of course, with each flare, the pain seems to radiate more and feel worse. Great! But anyway, Tuesday at One we go.
Mike and I carried up the small tv cabinet to organize the towels and what not in our room. I took out the towels we use out of the hall bathroom. Now that not only Jason and Sam is using it, but come the end of the month, Melissa and the girls will be using it also.. so needed to have our own private stuff for our bathroom. I later on went back in the garage and took out a bedroom tote and a few bags of coats and such. So slowly but surely making room in the garage for more storage to go in. We are putting Jason and Sam in the smaller room (really the office) and then Melissa will take the bigger spare room for her and both girls. So until Sam and Jason get their own place she will have to manage or sleep on the couch. We'll see. But after twenty some odd years, I'm NOT giving up my master bedroom for anyone. Being that Mike and I are the ones paying the most in the rent and bills, we deserve the bigger room with the private bathroom. I deserve that much. All my life I've given up my bed or my room for others. I've slept on couches, I've made my room in the living room, one too many times.. so I think it's our turn this time...I really do.
So after about three trips up the stairs with things. I was done. Figured I did enough for one night. I refuse to over do anything tonight and make myself hurt more then I already do.. So after i was done with that, I wrote and old friend of my mom's and copied (typed a copy) of her memorium that Dad's group made up for him. So she could see what mom has done in the last years of her life.. Then I copied and pasted a portion of it for my brother Robert so he can see also. Thought they would like that... Lastly, I did my bible readings for the days and put my personal note on it.. So now that my hands and fingers have typed for like four hours tonight. I think I'm done and ready to go up to my bed and read more of my NOra Roberts book.. So till TOMorrow night. NITERS!!!!

thurs/fri 2sept

“This is what the LORD says— your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: "I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.”- Isaiah 48:17
All I can say to this one is AMEN!! With a chuckle behind it. I spent all my life in looking to my mom for the directions in my life that I should take. so when HF took her from us to be with him, it was the most heartbreaking thing I thought I could endure. Mind you I spent a good portion of my night copying her memorium from a family member. Yet thinking again how Robert S. Wood put in his letter how she was super mom to every one she came in contact with. Now reading this tonight is just a manifestation that it's the Lord that directs us. So being intuned to his Holy Spirit will get me there. Thank goodness, I don't do alot with consulting Him in my prayers first...
Psalm 140-142, 1 Corinthians 14:1-20

Corinthians 14
Gifts of Prophecy and Tongues
1Follow the way of love and eagerly desire spiritual gifts, especially the gift of prophecy. 2For anyone who speaks in a tongue[a] does not speak to men but to God. Indeed, no one understands him; he utters mysteries with his spirit.[b] 3But everyone who prophesies speaks to men for their strengthening, encouragement and comfort. 4He who speaks in a tongue edifies himself, but he who prophesies edifies the church. 5I would like every one of you to speak in tongues,[c] but I would rather have you prophesy. He who prophesies is greater than one who speaks in tongues,[d] unless he interprets, so that the church may be edified.
I am still amazed of those who do this.. It is the most honor to be able to listen to one who speaks in tongue. It is even more so of an honor to know that what they are saying is for the Lord to hear and to understand what they are speaking. I love to listen to someone in prayer to our Father and start speaking in tongue. It just send shivers up my spine to listen...

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Wed/ thurs 1st personal

Today was a bit better then yesterday. I did learn something tonight. I learned that there is a main muscle that runs in the back lower part of my neck that runs right up to the top of my skull. This is the place where it's effected so much in making me have such headaches. It's a fibro trigger point.. I'm sure that the tightness in my bra straps and the weight of my breast pulling on the straps and the wrong size of the bra fit, has alot to do with the trigger point and the pains and headaches I'm having. That is why when at night I take the bra off and I relax that muscle, it starts to feel better till I put the bra back on.. Geez! makes alot of sense. So tell me, where can I find the money to buy bras that actually fit and not have the weight of my bust pull down on my shoulders to effect the trigger points in my neck to solve all this?? Ha??? GEEZ!
I got to finally make it to Walmart today and get the rest of the things we needed. So now we are like down to our last twenty dollars for milk and cream and suffer the rest of the two weeks for anything else, I guess. B/c the water bill came in and will have to use Jason's weekly rent money to pay for that. Seeing as it went up another $2o some odd dollars. So what we have in that closet is what we live on for the next two weeks, I guess. I'm so glad that I got the rent, electric, internet and phone paid for on this check.. Thank Goodness. b/c it's about it get even tighter come the end of the month.. If we can struggle through the month of September, we should be all good come October. Then we can sail the rest of the year and have a decent Xmas. I hope, along with a plane ticket for my son to come too. So everyone pray that it all work out for us...

wed/thurs 9/1

“The earth is filled with your love, O LORD; teach me your decrees.”- Psalm 119:64
Psalm 137-139, 1 Corinthians 13
Psalm 138

1 I will praise you, O LORD, with all my heart;
before the "gods" I will sing your praise
3 When I called, you answered me;
8 The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me;
your love, O LORD, endures forever—
do not abandon the works of your hands. (I love this. How great is the knowledge of all that?)
Psalm 139
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
1 O LORD, you have searched meand you know me. 2 You know when I sit and when rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. 3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. 4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD. 5 You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. 7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there. 9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast. 11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me," 12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. 13 For you created my inmost being;you knit me together in my mother's womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body.All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 17 How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! 18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you. 19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me, you bloodthirsty men! 20 They speak of you with evil intent;your adversaries misuse your name. 21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD, and abhor those who rise up against you? 22 I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
I left all of this in, b/c it was only good in full. everything was a tug at the heart strings. Not just one part of it... So I had to..

1 Corinthians 13 (I really like this scripture alot)
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8. Love NEVER fails. 13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Ok so when it talks about speaking in tongues.. Is it really speaking in Hebrew? Is that what the Pastor's wife speaks when she is talking in tongue?? WOW How awesome is that!!!