Halloween

My hiding place, my safe refuge, my treasure, Lord, You are.... my friend and king anointed one, most holy...
Alot has happened in the last week. WOW! where does the time go? We celebrated Mel's 27th birthday. My gosh she was going on 17 when I met her dad. Geesh! Now she is almost thirty with two beauties for daughters. The three of them just fill our entire existence. Amazing. Nothing makes Mike so proud, then to hear, "Grampa..."and string something along in a sentence. He just giggles and I know that his heart melts every time. She is definently a grampa's girl. funny thing is that I'm not jealous. Why should I be? The girl has her Granny times too. She runs up to me, put her arms around my neck and says, "I love you soooooooooo much!" and gives you a huge kiss on the lips..
Kaylee, is the quiet one. But you see her feelings, expressions and love through her eyes. She knows who her granny and grampy are and she will smile, coo and roll her eyes at you... She is awesome!
I still have a deep longing for my son. He desires, that even though his dad is going through yet another separation from Whitney and they are going to counseling.That no matter what, he doesn't want to leave his dad. I admire the relationship he has with his dad, don't get me wrong. But I'm jealous in the same right. I miss my boy. I hate that he isn't living with us. I hate that I don't have a part in his life with raising him. I hate the idea that we had to move, to try and get on our feet and start a new life. I hate the idea that in order to do so, we are digging deeper in before we can get out.. When will we have a break??
We don't live beyond our means.. My goodness, we don't have tv. We share Internet with a friend(lord forgive us)We are paying rent, deposits, electric, water. That is it.. It's the deposits that is killing us. We are paying total with rent $1000 a month. that's Mike's two paychecks.. Then my check covers utilities and his meds.. i haven't even made it to the Dr to get my meds as of yet.. Never have the funds to get there. WE don't have car insurance, we drive a 94 chevy S10, that seems to break down in the most in opportune times. We had to get a payday loan to cover the entire expense and since then we've done nothing but continue to go downhill.
With Mel moving in, we are hoping for a pick up. she is suppose to be paying $300 a month and help with food. But right now she had a huge issue with the welfare up at home and now has to finally get to go apply in Fla state welfare, next week. But until she starts seeing some cash from it, she only pays $200 and helps with food.. That $200 doesn't cover the extra on the rent..
I know that through faith and God's word, we will be able to recover from this.. I just know it. I just have to continue to have the faith and do as I'm suppose to so I can except what He has in store for us..
Mike came out and said tonight, I really would love to go to heavy equipment school. You know that is my all out dream.. But for some reason, I'm being pushed or drawn to look further into marine tech schooling. :o) That's a huge plus, that school is right here in town! Where Heavy equipment is in Lakeland. Like Melissa said, I would love to move further south. But if the hospital in Pensacola is suppose to be one of the top in the nation, why would I leave. So I believe Mike feels the same way. So in the meantime, due to the fact that he really hates his job, we are going to start Monday and put applications in to different places and see what he can come up with. And again, with the grace and love of God, He will provide the right answers to where we belong.
Oh I did get to make it to the soup kitchen and food bank to volunteer on Weds. What a inspirational, wonder day, did I have. I not only felt blessed for being there and helping those less fortunate then I, but also I met some really wonderful ladies and gentlemen that filled my heart with such love and joy. I also got what they called "saved" I believe. Now all my life, I thought that meant being baptized. I didn't realize it wasn't that at all. Granted I have always had the Lord in my life and in my heart, and I've fought off Satan as much as I humanly possibly could. But it amazed me to have three women put their hands on me and pray over me. Two ladies, Jane ? and Toni Ferguson prayed for so many things to happen in my life as well as my husband's and to open my heart a bit more for Christ to be able to come in and linger and lead me down the path that I must tread. But they also blessed me for strength on my body, for my fibro and other ailments and when i raised my arms to let the spirit flow through, Jane also prayed that my Psoriasis BE GONE! as she stated and be free of my body. It was just fantastic! After they were done and I went to leave, I felt so free, so energetic. I couldn't believe it. I felt I could run the block. I worked with diligence and strength. It was fantastic! Come the next day, I still felt great and the next. It's now Wee early Sunday morning and I don't have any fibro great pains at all. I have a bit of ache from the humidity in the air and a pinch from a kidney stone releasing in my bladder. That's it! Oh and my Psoriasis. Is starting to break and clear up.. How cool is that?? PRAISE GOD! I just love it!!!!
Tomorrow, after church, they are going to have trunk or treat for the kids.. Just like they do in Newport and Scituate. Then after that is Halloween festivities and such inside the building. They are going to have a moon walk and other fun things for the kids as well as older ones.. I will have to take my camera and take pics so I can post on here..
Sorry about the drag post. Sometimes life just isn't all peaches and cream and lately it's been more sour then ripe. but then some days it's peaches and roses all in one.. Thanks be to Jesus for his love and I know He will answer our prayers, whether they be good or bad... Thank you Jesus!