Weds/Thurs 8/26/10

Psalm 119:105
Your word is a lamp to my feet
and a light for my path.
I just love that.. It's so beautifully written.. I heard Sis. Anne say it a couple times in conference. Then I seen it on her FB page.. just love it. I just stumpled upon it today in my daily devotional reading..
Well after a long and tiring night last night. I fially fell asleep around one thirty AM only to be awakened again by 4:20 AM. My head hurt so badly. All I did the entire time I slept was dream of the situation we are dealing with here. Between Jason/Sam not paying any cash to stay and ONLY helping with food and trying to deal wtih the idea of how to get Melissa to move down here, we are just beside ourselves with so much stress. I was so consumed with so many different thoughts running through my brain, that I couldn't fall back asleep till well after 8am. I was hurting so badly and so emotionally tired, that I had to email Sis. Christy and let her know that I would not be making it to the soup kitchen either. I was so depressed. I looked fwd to going and helping out today.. Anyway, I got to the point that this afternoon, I finally broke down and told Sam my issues and she presented it to Jason and he came and I told him everything. Then told him that we would be havig a family meeting about it at a later point. AT this family meeting I'm going to have him sign a paper to the fact of what we agreed upon, so he won't come back and say, that is not what we agreed on. Like he has done so many times. I'm through with that..
But it was enough to let off some of the stress level that I've been dealing with. Now I'm going to put Mike's Harley in the paper to see if we can get any bites on it. For that is the only way I believe we will be able to get the funds up to go and get Melissa w/o biting off more then we can chew. I feel so badly for him. I know that is his only "release" and I pray that he can save enough fast enough to pay off his new bigger and better bike. B/c he needs that stress reliever very much.. We have to do something for more income quickly also b/c we are slowly drowning in our own debts. Losing that whole $1 an hour made a pretty good difference in our budget. I can't believe how much so. Here we are trying to payoff the deposits and we keep getting the rug pulled out from under us and we get further behind. Now we are making up for the bounced check of the rent last month. (Due to a company that was told DONOT TAKE MY MONEY AGAIN.. CANCEL OUR ACCT.. and they don't listen..
Take note, NEVER and I mean NEVER apply for a payday loan online. They like to send your name to companies that you have no knowledge about until after they take monies out of our personal acct. go figure.. UGH!!! So now we are digging deeper in our pockets to come up with even more rent.. I'll be paying the landlord twice a month, you wait and see. Unreal!!!
Please Lord answer our prayer.. We really need a miracle to come around. We've been trying to sell things, I offer to baby sit for work, I can't work a regular job due to my illness. So it's up to Mike to be the soul worker and he is so wiped out from doing third shift, that it's really difficult for him to wake up and even look for another job. I feel so badly for him.. I just wish there was some way to help out more. Besides kick his cousin in the pants.. Either pay up or get out.. WE are NOT your parents and we shouldn't have to take care of you like we are.. UGH!!! Anyway, it's now three AM and I really need to try and get some sleep.
WOw! I feel a bit better just by getting that out of my system.. phew.....