another weekend over

Well got alot accomplished this weekend. I finished my friends laundry so she would have clean clothes. She had like 7 or 8 loads.. 6 of them clothes two of them blankets.. I still haven't done the blankets yet. I'm taking a break from that.. I decided today to do the kitchen and bathroom downstairs and sweep the floors. That was enough for my back to handle. With the weather being the way it is, all my joints are just achey also.. So not fun.
Mike went up and visited his boss and give the return to work note, so he can start back in Jan. Can you believe it's been over six months since he's worked. I know it will do him well to get back in the mode of working. I just worry that after he sees the surgeon for the fistula and he actually starts dialasis, will he be strong enough to continue working..He's been through so much already, I just don't want him to go through more suffering.
The good news is, that I will have my portion of the insurance back. I can't wait! I will be able to see a Dr once more.. Talk about an answered blessing.. I needed for so long..This way, I can get back on the right track and get my butt back to doing all I did before. I am missing church, I'm missing my soup kitchen. I'm missing my life.. It's time to get my life back.. So it will be a good Christmas of answered prayers and blessings.
Thank you Lord for your love and kindness. Thank you for your arms wrapped around us, when we've needed it most..

Dec. 10

Well once again I'm way behind. It is hard to getting on the computer alot b/c it's Mike's only outlet on being bored. So I let him have it. I have my phone to do most things, so I don't really complain. I just don't think about trying to do my blog.
We had a really nice Thanksgiving. We ate at Deb and Kevin's house. It was a bit hectic in the beginning but ended very nicely. We were eating at two. We had the twins (melissa worked) So that meant we had to get a ride. Our truck only sits one passenger. I had to take the truck though, also, because Kaylee needed to be back for four for the nurse. We finally settled down to eat at like 2:45. By the time we finished eating and cleaned our places, it was time to repack Kaylee, her recliner and diaper bag into the truck, once again. I made it home by five of four. We waited around till five thirty. No nurse.. So after her feeding was done, I packed more essentials and meds and headed back for the evening. We had a fire pit and a nice dessert of sorts. It was awesome. We had plenty to be thankful for.
We decided to sell Mike's Harley finally. Between his illnesses and financial difficulties we knew we had to. He only got like half of what it was worth. But we took every advantage we could of it. We did an awesome Xmas shopping this year for the kids. It felt great to be able to do that. This is the first year we could do what we did this year. We even kept some, to put in the bank to secure a loan with it.. Need to pay off bills and build credit.
Mike has been released back to work, but hoping that his boss won't schedule him back on til Jan. He goes for a fistula consult Jan 9th. That is to discuss and schedule surgery to have two main veins combined for dialasis. If that doesn't work, then they will put a mock vein in. This will take 3 mos to heal and grow over to the normal vein it should be for complete acceptance of the dialasis and the vein won't blow from the pressure and so much pumping of fluid. He can then also be tested sometime after that to see if he can be a candidate of a kidney transplant. He has four people that have volunteered to donate. They will have to be throughly tested to see if they match. If they don't he will be put on a transplant list that is up to 8 years long.
He has more restrictions on his diet now. He is now on a diabetic, cardiac, low phosphus as well as low potassium diet now. Tell me what great meals can I cook this man on a very tiny food allowance. Most of the time we get our food fromt he food bank. B/c the cost of life and meds take such a HUGE chunk out of us as it is. But I have faith that Father in heaven will bless us to pull it off.
I've been helping my girlfriend with not only driving her kids home from school, but now at the salon with cleaning and answering phones. This weekend I'm doing her laundry. So hopefully that will help with some cash...
The driving is still paying for my haircuts, color, and straightning. She also trims the twins and Melissa's hair. I do Mike's. he's easy i just buzz his. LOL
I just got approved from the state a "cost sharing" medicaid. Check this out, I have to accumulate $1442 (a month) in order for them pay for anything. I know I have medical issues and I need meds on a monthly basis. But I can't see me running a bill of sorts "Every" month of that amount. I have to look for a new Dr as well, since we fired ours back in July. she nearly got Mike killed. She wasn't treating him for any of his ailments except diabetes. She was telling him that all her test didn't show kidney failure and the high blood pressure she was ONLY treating with a cholesteral pill. I mean come on, charge $250 for a walk in office visit (thank God for Bc/Bs and co pays) but for that price she should of been some sort of specialist.. And imagine she studied and worked at Columbia up North Massachuessetts for High blood pressure and helped put on the market some of the top meds.. But to prescribe to a patient when needed. NOPE why would she do that.. She rather not treat you for meds and have you come in More then needed and slowly kill you off. Nope I don't think so... So we fired her and Mike got a new and much much better Dr. She is AWESOME!!!!
Oh well, now that I've yet once again wrote a novel here.
I should make it a New Year's Resolution to try and keep up with this blogging.. I've not even written in my personal journal in ages.. I'm so far behind. Go figure.....

almost halloween

Can you believe that it's now almost the end of October. Melissa will have a birthday on the 24th. She will be 28 years old. Imagine that, I have a daughter almost thirty.. Geesh!
Mike is still out of work. Can you imagine after being in the hospital in July, his Blood Pressure is still high and sugar still bounces. Can't imagine. The heart Dr wants him to begin dialasis and the kidney dr wants to wait till his percentage working rate is down to 15-20%. He is at 25% right now. But Cardiologist doesn't see his BP coming down until he works the kidneys first. And in the meantime, he is still out of work. His short term TDI just ran out, now they began the process for the long term to begin. They sent out a pkt for us to fill out. Then it will take up to 45 days to kick in. Praying we don't have the same issues that wwe had before and start getting things shut off. I wonder where we would be w/o Melissa helping as much as she does.. She has been such a blessing.
I still drive my friend Jenai's kids home daily from school. This past week has sucked b/c she and I have been ill. She got the blunt of that one. When I'm feeling decent I clean for her and do laundry in return for cash. That helps alot. But between my flares and now the Crud and such we've had, I'm lucky I've done anything around here. Still have Kyla during the week while Melissa works. Kaylee now has a nurse 7 days a week. That is a huge help in and of itself. I'm not so stressed, even though she had been the eaasier child. Imagine that..
Hopeing things will fall into place soon. WE've missed so much church. I stopped going to soup kitchen b/c I just can't wake up in the mornings and keep up through the days. Now my schedule is like, I wake at 1, go to salon at 2 and pick up Jenai's truck, go get kids around 2:20. Go back to shop and hang till approx 5. then I get home start supper, take care of Kyla's needs til 7. Put on a movie for her till she falls asleep. I'm back in my bed by 8:30 and can't fall asleep til 3am or so.. Story of my life. But I'm so much more comfy in the bed then not.. I hate my furniture.. Well, at least I'm out of my bed now and doing stuff. not like years ago when I would only get out of bed to pee and fix food and be back in it for eternity.. Don't ever want that again..I will fight to keep that from happening..
Oh well, that's about it.. Not alot going on.. Especially not alot of happiness. I do read alot! I'm on a reading program though my phone/online. I'm reading right now on you version Psalms and Proverbs in 30 days. I'm doing through Gateway the old testiment. And on top of that I'm reading a book called In God's House.. Loveing it.. So I make sure that I spiritually stay connected. I will never lose that again.. Come to far to fall now... I love my God and don't want to lose that relationship that I'm starting to grow on.. JUST LOVING IT!!!
Well, good night till next time in catching up.. Will post more pics one of these days.. NIGHT

Record the following promises in your journal. Beside each promise, write the words of Psalm 23 that substantiate that promise. I have listed a few to help you get started.

God promises to meet every need in my life. “I shall not want.”
God gives me rest and peace. “He leads me beside quiet waters.”
God gives my life purpose and direction.___He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. _____________________________________
God comforts me when my heart is broken. __he restores my soul____________________________________
God promises that He will never leave me.__________for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. _____________________________
God gives me victory over my enemies. __Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, [fn] I will fear no evil, for you are with me_______________________________________
God promises me eternal life. __Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. _______________________________________________

Sunday 7th Aug

I'm trying to up load a pic of Melissa on her first day of school but of course it's not letting me. It's like I did my limit on here already. Oh well.
I over slept today and didnt make it to church. I was soo tired I couldn't wake at all. So I decided must need to just suck it up and roll over and get some more sleep. I slept till 15 mins before Melissa went to work. Imgine.. She scrambled out what not before she had to and ran out the door. Kyla decided it was time to see what she could do while mom is gone. I swear she does all of it on purpose. Let's act out while mom is gone. She was upstairs watching tv in her mom's room with her sister. So I went up there to go to the bathroom and talk to Mike. She decided while I was up there, she snuck downstairs and got in fridge and started to pulls things out she wanted. When she got to her sister's pediasure, she dropped it and the lid flipped off and spilled some of it through out fridge and in drawer that she left open. So she left all and came upstairs to tell us she spilled and make a mess. I was picturing a flood on my floor. But thank the good Lord on high, there wasn't.
Then I took off to my friend Jenai's house to pick up and pot roast dinner that she made and was giving us what was left over.I left Kyla with Mike. When I came in ,she was upstairs and Mike down in kitchen. I started reheating dinner and we ate and when she was done, she went back upstairs. I assumed to watch more tv with sissy. After awhile she comes down. I turn to look at her and tell her it's time to potty. when I noticed that she got ahold of her bangs again and chopped more off. (mind you this is second time) Now she looks like she tried to buzz her bangs...LOL Mike told her that she was going to start to look like his hair.. HA! His is longer now.
I asked her where she found scissors. She told me in Mommy's room. i said ok show me. As we walk up the steps I see my door open. I yelled down to Mike and tell him he left the door open. I'm surpised it was only scissors she got into. I don't want to imagine what else she could. She already tried to swipe pills fromhim and pop them in her mouth, while he was taking his. We went in there first and sure enough, on the floor is the scissors and a good chunk of hair.. UGH!!! I popped her butt for touching stuff in my room and put a diaper on her and sent her rear end to bed. Mind you it was like six thirty or so.She fell asleep around 7:30 but knew not to leave her room at all..
I told Mel, the rate we are going, Mike will have to be on one floor and me on the other.. So we can see her at all times.. Last time she was in Mel's room watching tv and wanted to get on Mel's laptop. Guess since she couldn't get into it (it's password set) she decided to pop off like six or so letters.. Store wanted to charge $55 to replace the key board. Mel worked it long enough and popped the letters but like 2 back on.. She said give her time and she'll get them on also..
It amazes me. I can't wait for Mel to change shifts so I will only have them third shift and we all are sleeping. I just cannot keep up with these guys anymore. Not during everything else going on... I guess. I'm too spent on life's other things...
Oh well, this too shall pass.

day of memories of this year

The first pic is of Mike just going into work. Can you tell he was in a really bad mood. We had a pretty good loud discussing LOL before he left.
Second is the Mike just waking up lol
Third is twins and I on Easter Sunday
Fourth is an updated pic of my son Jw. My word he is just about a man. I can't believe it..

updates from long ago.

Wow! I can't believe it's been so long since I last wrote. Mike went into the hospital for a week for high blood pressure as well as kidney failure yet again. Same as last November. Come to find out that our Dr we had was a flop. She took him off all the meds that the Dr's at the hospital prescribed him. She told us that there were better meds for him now and one wasn't any good for someone with diabetes. She also told him that she could do all blood work in her office and send it off. Oh and from looking at all his labs and tests she didn't see him having too much issue with his kidneys that they will work it and took him off the medicine they prescribed. The night of July 5th, he texts me and says, I can't breathe. It's like the humidity is taking my breath away. I tell him, i bet it's your Blood Pressure. Your sugar is out of whack and you dont eat right, so I'm sure your BP is high.. We went to the Dr the next morning after he told me that morning when i went to let my friend's dogs out that he wanted to see the dr that he couldn't breathe and he wanted to go to the drs. So i called and got him in as soon as they would let him. His Blood pressure was 220/114. She said she wanted him to go to ER right away. She wanted him admitted to be monitored by a specialist..
We weren't in the ER an hour and we found out that the meds she put him on weren't any of them for BP. They were cholesteral meds and tricliserides. So for 8 months he hadn't been treated for his hypertension.I had had it, so had Mike. We were done. We told the hospital, that if she ever called for records or reports that you know nothing and we want nothing to do with her ever again..
He was diagnosed with Ischemic Heart Disease. He is in kidney failure. He is now on 10 different medications... He had almost 35lbs of water weight. He had edema from his toes to his face. The edema was squeezing his heart and lungs. That was why he couldn't breathe. Today he looks like he did (weight wise) in high school. The Dr was totally impressed on how well the Lasix is working. Since he was discharged, they only had to increase one of his BP meds. He does well in the mornings, but by late afternoon, early evening it would spike. Now after the increase, his BP is just about perfect.
He had people all over the states and different parts of the world praying for him. God had heard and answered our prayers. He had blockage in the heart, but after testing found it wasn't enough to put stents in. He was told that highly possible that he would need dialasis for the kidneys would completely shut down from the test for his heart. God took the other road and made she he didnt. There were different things that he had been blessed with. Amazingly, Mike was so touched with all the people visiting him from church and the help that was given there as well at our home, and the love and prayers just convinced him, this is the place he needed to be. Amongst the love and fellowship of this wonderful Godly church family. He determined from then on that he was going to commit to The Lord and commit to going to church and giving it his all.
Well July 15th We were babptized in this fabulous new Gospel of life. We are one membership class away from becoming full fledge members of this wonderful church. I was sick the day of that one class and the whole family decided not to go. Melissa never went back to class, but Mike and did. With Mels schedule, she rarely makes it to church. On Weds nights when we go, we take the girls with us, so we can go. Kyla adores the nursery..Kaylee stays with us.
The twins had their 4th birthday. Can you believe I'm a grandma of 4 yr olds. Love it! We've been sitting for Melissa while she works. Before I had ppl coming to help me. But now we wing it. Kyla can be such a hand full. She is mouthy, fresh, full of so much energy, doesn't listen, and when scolded or spanked she laughs at times. Alot! She is still potty training at 4. Amazing huh? I know she is behind in things. So it took longer for it to kick in. But amazes me how spiteful she ccan be with it. She would much rather wet herself then use the potty. we use bribes of treats(m&m's, cookies, grapes, blueberries, crackers, fish, etc) and still she plays it. We think that she is jealous. Kaylee wears diapers, kaylee goes to school, Kaylee gets things she can't have (even though she gets more), Mommy goes to work and leaves her on a daily basis and poor Kyla is home. We know that she knows when she needs to go, she has told on some occassions, "I go potty" and she goes. Then there is times, she will just open her legs and watch herself go on the floor.. UGH!!!
Jw is coming on the 16th. Im praying that I can get him to stay for good. I've had people telling me that John is not fit for live in parenting. And he is not spending hardly any time with Jw. John is getting an upcoming job that will have him away from JW even more so. Being that this isn't the first time that I've been told about John's parenting wasn't right. I think it's time to take over and keep him with me.. I just pray sooo hard that I can convince him and his father this is the place where he needs to be. He needs a better life. Besides the only reason why Jw wants to go back is because of his youth group. The kids treat him awful at school and he doesn't have it any better at home. So I am hoping youth will be just as great here and he falls in love quickly.. I pray that God will hear my heart and help..
Ok I think that's about it. Now that I wrote a novel here. I'll close. I think I caught everyone up now:0)