Well we managed to get through two birthdays and enjoyed a great dinner and cake together with family. It was great! Melissa cooked supper and baked a cake and all. We were so impressed. Life has been making some world wind changes in my husband. I just cannot believe how in the world he has been changing. He is becoming a totally new man. First he now encourages me to pay our tithing, then he goes through his clothes and takes out all that is not pleasing to our Lord. Amazed! Yes I am. Now as of last night, he wants to go to a worship service this up coming sunday night where they are teaching about receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost. Wow! Does Mike not want to be just a bench warmer any logner??? He also volunteered to baby sit three out of four of the most hyperest children in all time. He says, " what can be no worse then Kyla and I handle her just fine." I was shocked. Ok Bud, now my friend and her daughter can go to our sisterhood weekend and not worry. He is even going in and getting permission to switch around his dialysis treatment, just so he can watch them on Saturday morning as well. How awesome is this?? Is this really my "new and improved" husband?? lol I'm all for it.. I've been working with a friend from church on getting a woman's group here at my house to be able to do a bible study, fellowship, crafting, what ever with their children. We want to call it "mommy and me" group. Awesome. I can't wait.. Our life just seems to be growing in the direction it should of been a very long time ago.. But hey, God doesn't count your past, he just helps you look forward to your future. How impressive is that??

Sometimes I get so frustrated. I am a very relying person on my God. I go to him for everything that I need to do in my daily walk of life. I trust in all that he will give me. But I also believe that he expects us to do things for ourselves. If we are ill, rely on the Dr's if need be. (he put physicians on the Earth for this purpose) If there a better lifestyle to live, allow God to show you. If your drag yourself down and over do your body will eventually drop from exhaustion. God will bless you in your service, but he also expects you to take care of yourself, in order to take care of others. Sleep and rest is very important not only physically but emotionally and psychologically also. Same goes with our diets. God gave us foods that we can grow and eat, or buy food that has been grown. When we continue to put processed foods, that are full of garbage, additives and such in our bodies, eventually it catches up. We get sick, we develop health issues. If there are things out there to help us strengthen our bodies and rebuild what we have broken down inside our bodies and strengthen our immune systems. I'm just surprised more people don't jump aboard and do it. Wouldn't a person rather put all natural things in their bodies to rebuild then drugs that mask and cover up the problems? Yes prescription drugs are cheaper(today) but what happens a few years down the line, while your were taking a med that helped an issue but ate away at your liver or kidneys? Gave your ulcers or eroded the lining of your esophagus and stomach. You had to reconstuct the pathway to the bowel tract? Do you get what I'm saying? Why do people put themselves through this? I did for many years. It's all I know. We do what we have been conditioned to do. Our parent's did it, why can't we. Isn't it time to break the cycle and do what we can to be healthier then our parents? To live longer then our parent's? Do you have a family member that died at a young age, from a disease, they could of most likely prevented? Heart attack, diabetes, stroke, fibromyalgia, the list can become a mile long... I know I do. I want to rebuild myself, get down to the inner cellular level and rebuild my damaged cells and develop healhtier ones. Do you think I like being known as lazy? All that lady does is lay around the house and sleep, do nothing. She has to hire someone else to clean her home (the simple household chores any one can do) But if I did them, I have to lay back down after each task and regroup for 30 mins or so. Do I enjoy every time it rains or the barmetric pressure changes drastically, to gets migraines, and such severe pain, all I want to do is cry and take hand fulls of meds to try and get rid of the issue . 90% of the time, it only brings the pain level down to a place where I can move again.. I want my life back. I'm 40 years old and I move around most days like Im 80. Heck I've seen some 80 year olds that move better then I do. I knew a lady who would til her garden or flower beds with a maddox and plant all her things by hand. She would play her neighborly rolls and dig up flowers and veggies and deliver by hand boxes to neighbors around her. Just to say, Hey thank you for being you. thank you for saying hi everytime you drive by. Wouldn't you like to be that way? I know I would. Well if someone would tell you they found a product that would do that for you. In just 2 oz a day you can start a process that will change your whole life for the better, for years to come. Yes, every one is hesitant at first. How can a product be so great and do so much. Well, first off 99% of most ailments are started on a cellular level. No? Autoammune diseases, surely are and many more. So why not try a product someone tells you, it works wonders. NOT JUST FOR ME, but check out these thousands of people who tried and look at them today. Well, that is what I did. I took one's word and decided if it could do it for them, and the other thousand out there, why couldn't it do it for me? Heck especially if it's 100% empty bottle, money back guarentee. (30 days) I jumped aboard and tried. In thirty days, I went from migraines to slight headaches, I went from severe pain to tolerable pain, hmm ok so far, it's doing something. Lets try for another thirty days. Wow! I took less pain meds this month. By the end of the month, I was able to stop taking my daily depression meds, my fibro meds (lyrica and neurontin) and I've not had a migraine all month.. Wow! Let's do another month and see if I can totally get off my night time sleep meds and such. I've been able to do laundry and clean my bathroom and not lay down to regroup. There's a plus! My husband has received more energy since he got sick. He still runs circles around me, but more so now. He does more in a days time, then he did in years. He brought the product to his dr and his doctor was like, oh yes, I like it.. Keep taking it.. sent his dr home with a sample and info for it.. Why not.. So now, what is the way, you present it to another. It's all natural it's less then $1.50 a day. and look at the benifits.. It's backed by Dr Roizen and Dr Oz. Alot of the celebraties and sports stars take it.. They are raving how it give more energy and no viruses and such. College students are taking it and getting better grades and are more alert. They take Verve, instead of red bull or monster drinks for surge of energies and no crash afterward. Better performaces from them. Granted there are so many Healthy schemes out there as well as so many health alternatives. Not saying one is better then the other. You have to find the one that works for you and run with it. This is my health of choice (I've tried a few) but nothing seems to do what Vemma has done for us. I hope you can find something that will work this way for you also. I don't know about you, but I would love to live to be over 100 and still be able to function in my everyday life. But until then, I'm doing what I can just to function as a 40 year old should function (not a sick 80 year old) I still rely on God for my spiritual needs, but I still rely on what God has granted others to teach and help also. that is why they were put on earth to do. Why not take advantage of it. It God wanted you to fully 100% rely ONLY on him, he wouldn't have had dr's and resources to help him along the way also. (I may not have worded it correctly, but I hope you understand on what I mean.. Love and hugs to all who are reading this, and I hope no one has gotten offended in any way. Hope you have a blessed week. That is my Monday thoughts..

Well is moving along. It's now May and we are living day by day. Mike goes in on his birthday (18th) to get his PD port (belly) for home dialysis. Then he won't have to go to the center three days a week. He is so excited about this. We still have to take a trip down to Tampa, to get him tested for transplant and get put on the list. He has done so many changes in the year. I'm so impressed with him. Last year he got really mad at me for paying tithing with his money. This year he insists on it. First right off the top. I'm like Yes, he finally sees the blessing and what tithing can bless you with. He has started singing each week. Mike doesn't sing. Just that the spirit over comes and you can't help but sing. He has gained so much of a testimony going through this hardship. He has been talking to everybody about Vemma and how it has worked on his body. He has so much energy and such. People can't get over it. He's brought in samples and paperwork, so all can see. I'm going to be having a birthday party the end of the month for a friend here. Then on the 2nd of June, I will be having a jewelry party. July, my sister in law is moving down and will be staying with us, till she finds a place. Life is going to be so busy around here. Jw will be coming the end of July, beginning of Aug to spend the month with us. Man I can't wait. I miss him so much! I've been growing spritually daily. I try and read daily (nightly) the Word and apply it. I do a women's bible study. we are learning the women in the bible and what roles they played leading to Jesus' life. Then on my personal studies, I'm learning about getting closer to my Father and receiving the gift of tongues. I'm so wanting to have the closeness to my Father and be able to climb up in his lap and have him hold me. I so want to become a close as I can to Him. It says in the bible that you must confess ALL of your sins in life and come clean before God and then the spirit will start opening up you mind and heart to be able to. I so wondered what it was in my life that was not confessed and forgiven. I was presented back to our sister hood weekend and what had been brought out then. OH!!! You would think (never just assume or think) that was so long ago, it was forgotten. So I represented it to Him and asked for my forgiveness. I now, have gone from, ok I'm getting words formed in my mind and when i repeat outloud, another word forms. Then I pray to my Father please make it known to me that it is the spirit telling me these words or is it Satan helping me along. There is a book out that Pastor Mark talked about, that I'm looking at getting. So when payday comes I will see about it. But for now, I'm reading "Princess unaware" and learning more and more each day. It has alot of biblical references and reading references to interact in with the scripture. how cool is that??? But that is where life has been for me so far. Just learning a little more every day..

new days new dreams

Life has just been so exciting. I'm just plunging into things and really seeing how life is going to work in me. I joined the prayer team at church and really just adore it. I feel connected to others and God more this way. I've been wanting to do this for so long. Now I can.
I also, joined back up with Vemma. I'm loving it! I've done alot of praying about all of this. God is walking beside me in my adventure. I'm really excited. My first big project in this, is going to be a business table at our Women's weekend at church. I'm so excited. I ordered a business kit and samples and feeling the urger to try and order more samples. I'm so excited.
Mike has people interested in it at the dialysis center and I think that can get to be a huge business boom! So I think as long as I don't let my head swell to big and I walk side by side with God and let him carry me through, we may indeed make something with this... I can't wait.
I decided that I will start the weight loss program that Vemma has, which is called Bod.e. And see how that will effect with me. I'm going to work another person (Jenai possibly) to The only other exciting thing is that my son is going to be 16 this upcoming week on the 19th. I can't believe my baby isn't a baby at all anymore.. WOW! I can't wait til he can come down this summer. I miss him so so so much!!!
That's about it.. Mike is still working to get started on the beginning process of doing home dialysis. Poor guy. He hates going to the clinic every other day. Which I can't blame him. He is getting great fellowship in, but still would prefer to be home doing it. I love the idea that he is interacting with others on a christian basis as well as a promoter basis for the company:)

beginning of a new week.

Now that we are just about in the month of February and the end of Jan. hmm what's new? Mike got his tunnel cathater for dialysis on Weds last week and then Saturday, he started his first day. He came home and slept most of the day. Sunday he was a bit laid back. We didn't make it to church and I didn't want to push it. But by this morning he seemed to look good and he said he felt good. We went to the surgeon's office today for a follow up. He told Mike that the veins in the left arm were not well enough to do the fistula. So now he has to go back Weds. and get a veno-gram on the right arm to see if it's better. Then have another follow up next monday..
Fun fun fun!! I know we've just started in the dr's appts and such, but man, I'm tired now, can you imagine when it all kicks into gear at once. I'm doomed.. He will be just the same. I just have more on my plate.. he just sits back and gets rides and shows up for what is needed. I have to scout for sitters and make sure Jenai has her kids squared away and such.. None are my kids and I worry so.. how come?? I just feel bad b/c they are my job (so to speak) and when you can't make your shift, you tend to find someone else to fill in for you. That is how I think about the kids.
But usually I'm blessed to know that I have such great family and friends here in Crestview and they are always there to jump and help when needed. Thnak GOD for that.. What more could we ask for...
Been reading daily in the Bible twice if I can morning and night and alot of times if I'm in the Dr's office waiting for Mike on something I will try and read some also. I'm not in Ecclesiates.. I'm so excited. I'm actually going to complete the book in no time at all and I'll be able to say, " I've read the WORD cover to cover." I've never done that before. I'm so excited about that. I then will be picking up a study guide and really going to study the Bible and get into it to learn it.. That I'm really wanting to do, but swore I wouldn't until I've conquered the entire book reading it first..
Kyla has picked up the word Ya'll it's so funny. She had a bag of gummy worms that she was eating for a snack..She calls them dummy worms. LOL and still calls lollipops, wee pops. I love it.. love it love it..

news update ending of January

Well, Mike went for his chest Xray and veno-gram. He now goes tomorrow to Pensacola to get his chest Cath. so he may begin dialysis Saturday Morning. My poor guy is getting more and more depressed and the day come on. I feel so badly for him. All I can do is pray for him and let God fill his voids and love him through it all.
Today I went to my Dr and asked for something to help with my depression/anxiety. I've had my due. Sometimes, it's easier to allow some help then try to conqueor life all alone. Dr also thinks it will help me in the long run while taking the Lyrica with the Prozac, that it should work better together and help more. He also referred me to the pain clinic so I can try and work better with the Lortabs and Flexeral. He's worried about me taking too much. I think I do very well. I take one to two Tabs a day and my ten mg Flex. I take 1/2 tab at bedtime. When I have a really major flare up, I will take a tab and a whole flex to get through. But that is a rare occassion...If there is something out there that is better then those, then by all means, I will try them. But until they can find anything, I'm sticking to what I'm doing now.. What more can I do?
Had plans to head to church tonight. But when service starts at 6:30 and I just can't push myself to making on time. We missed out once again. But we've been doing pretty well on making Sundays.
I've done very well on my 21 day chocolate and junk fast. I've had no chocolate, no ice cream, no junk food. My only junk flaw all day has been coffee with flavored creamer. I drink a travel mug a day and at most a mug before that one. Usually it's only the travel mug. For my midnight snacking, if I'm awake at that time, is veggie crackers by wheat thins or wheat thins. I do have rice cakes in my snack drawer, but I've not touched them since I bought them.
This will help me lose some poundage. I got on the scale at the Dr's clinic today and was like OH BOY!!!! The Dr tried to make me feel better by telling me that he has so many patients that would give my weight and for my blood panels.. I had great blood panels. My cholesteral is a bit high but not too much to worry. He said to start taking Omega 3's and it should start coming back down. I said, yep and along with my 21 day fast of junk will help totally also.. LOL he was amazed that I was doing that and proud in the long run also.. how cool is that??
Oh well, that's about all that is new right now.. Update more laters....

not so great news...

Mike had a Dr's appt today at the kidney Dr. He had to go alone today b/c someone had to stay home with the kids. His appt was at 3:30. Around 4:30 the dr's nurse calls me to inform me that Mike will be needing to begin dialysis next week. He is too sick to wait for the fistula placement and the three month wait for it to heal. So he will be going soon in for the surgical placement tube for peritoneal dialysis:
In this type of dialysis, your blood is cleaned inside your body. The doctor will do surgery to place a plastic tube called a catheter into your abdomen (belly) to make an access. During the treatment, your abdominal area (called the peritoneal cavity) is slowly filled with dialysate through the catheter. The blood stays in the arteries and veins that line your peritoneal cavity. Extra fluid and waste products are drawn out of your blood and into the dialysate. There are two major kinds of peritoneal dialysis
Then in time if he is able to do so he can get the surgery to have the hemodialysis which then he can have dialysis at home:
In hemodialysis, an artificial kidney (hemodialyzer) is used to remove waste and extra chemicals and fluid from your blood. To get your blood into the artificial kidney, the doctor needs to make an access (entrance) into your blood vessels. This is done by minor surgery to your arm or leg.

Sometimes, an access is made by joining an artery to a vein under your skin to make a bigger blood vessel called a fistula.

However, if your blood vessels are not adequate for a fistula, the doctor may use a soft plastic tube to join an artery and a vein under your skin. This is called a graft.

Occasionally, an access is made by means of a narrow plastic tube, called a catheter, which is inserted into a large vein in your neck. This type of access may be temporary, but is sometimes used for long-term treatment.
He may also be a candidate for a kidney transplant. He has a few people in line for donation. We had four, but one ended up with kidney stones like I have and can't do it now. Out of the three that are left, one is his sister. She may possibly be the closests in being a match. If none of them are a match he will be on a waiting list. This can take up to ten years to reach availability.
In the meantime we are asking for all the prayers we can get. This can be very tireing for Mike and he can be sick with it all. It's a really rough treatment. He will start by going to the dialysis clinic three times a week for four hour days. That is enough to make anyone tired.
My heart breaks for him. I so wish I could do all this for him. I have enough ailments, what is it to add another. I know it's so rough on him. I know it bothers him to be in this state. He is always the tough, strong bred earner. He is the care taker, not the one being taking care of. So it's rough. So please keep him in your prayers.
I pray for myself for strength. I am not the healthiest. I have my own issues. I need to be able to put aside my issues and be strong to maintain, not only taking care of him, but now taking care of the babies alone, while Melissa works. She is our biggest financial help. We depend on her for that. So I need to be able to take care of the girls while she works. Granted we have a nurse that deals with kaylee. But they are not always here. There are days when a nurse can't be. So it's up to me to take over that. I have to give up my time at the shop. I'm not sure about the driving of the kids Tues-Fridays. I may be able to take Kyla with me each day. But must be home in time for kaylee to get off the bus at 3:50 each day. Have to be available to get Mike to dialysis and pick him up those three days a week. And until Melissa gets her truck fully running, I will have to transport her to and from work. So yes, I pray for strength and endurance to get through this until some things ease up...
In Jesus name I pray and in His name I ask for all this. And with faith I know that NOTHING is too big to ask of Him. So I thank Him in advance for all my answered prayers.. Amen...

A new year, New Resolutions

I'm not really big on New Years Resolutions. Especially b/c that way if I don't keep up with the Res. then I know I haven't failed. LOL I'm not one to finish too much of things I started. I start crafts and usually don't complete them, I start a diet and I quit part way through, I plan on reading so many book in a year, but then I only get a bit of a way through that. I promised I would read the Bible completely through in a year and fail in the time frame.
This year I'm trying to set goal that I may accomplish. I still want to finish reading the Bible to its end, I still want to lose weight, I still want to read books(just not setting a number on what I want to read). I do want to keep on the main frame of reading spiritual uplifting books. I'm totally enjoying the learning of it all.
One huge goal on concentrating on is, I want to become closer to my Father in heaven then I have ever been. I want the father/daughter relationship like none other. I want the feeling of sitting on "daddy's lap" kind of relationship. So I have made it known that I'm looking for books that will and can get me spiritually intune with the spirit to guide me there.
As far as the weight loss. I took on the challange that we were given at church, of a 21 day fast. You are to chose something that you want to abstain from for 3 weeks and pray about it.. So I took on the challange of abstaining from midnight chocolate. I've stocked my draws with rice cakes, wheat thins and veggy crackers, so I won't be tempted. I've been so good about it that I've actually abstained from chocolate and sweets from my day time also. The true thing of sugar really that I've had is only in my coffee (2 tsp) The only chocolate I've gotten is white chocolate coffee creamer. I'm so proud of myself..
We are then to pick someone in Crestview to pray for salvation. I took on the task of two. B/c I knew that they are such a close knit couple that they would have to come together to be saved, instead of seperately.
It all follows suit to these ideas on how to do it..



He gave us 6 keys for setting yourself up for success....
1)set your prayer objectives. Write them down! Trust God! Declare your dependence on him and make him first. Ask him to point out the areas of your life that is unpleasant to him. Believe God for the great fulfillment of Crestview winning the lost!
James 4:2-3
2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
2) decide what type of fasting you will do
Matthew 6:16-18
16 Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.”

17 Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven. 18 And I tell you that you are Peter,[a] and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades[b] will not overcome it.

Footnotes:a.Matthew 16:18 The Greek word for Peter means rock.
b.Matthew 16:18 That is, the realm of the dead
3) make it a heart thing not a food thing
Joel 2:12-13
Rend Your Heart
12 “Even now,” declares the LORD,
“return to me with all your heart,
with fasting and weeping and mourning.”
13 Rend your heart
and not your garments.
Return to the LORD your God,
for he is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and abounding in love,
and he relents from sending calamity.
4) put to death the flesh. Fasting separates us from things of the flesh. The goal of Christianity is that the spirit man be in charge fasting and prayer denies the flesh and the souless man but strengthens the spirit man
Romans 8:13
13 For if you live according to the flesh, 3 ‘Why have we fasted,’ they say,
‘and you have not seen it?
Why have we humbled ourselves,
and you have not noticed?’
5) choose a different lifestyle don't do the same things you've always done. Change it up!
Isaiah 58:3
3 ‘Why have we fasted,’ they say,
‘and you have not seen it?
Why have we humbled ourselves,
and you have not noticed?’

“Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please
and exploit all your workers.

6) expect results! Expect changes
Isaiah 58:8-9
8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness[a] will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
9 Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

“If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
(8) the rightous one
It's one thing to love God and another to be In Love with God! So are you in love with God?
Revelations 2:4-6
4 Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. 5 Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place. 6 But you have this in your favor: You hate the practices of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate.
Remember your first love, remove the obsticals (repent)
God commands to bring us back to him!
1) remember your first love
2) remove the obsticals
3) rejoin the path of obedience



So all in all, everything I wanted was taught in that Sunday. How awesome is that? How to get closer to the Father is in alot of what is written above. So I have taken on this challenge. Sunday past, it was taught also in making God first you must put Him first. When you wake in the morning, don't roll over and turn on TV or hit your facebook, as I do. I roll over and grab my phone and see if I have any texts or messages. Then, of course, I must click on FB and look and see all the newness of the day. NO, we must thank our Father for being able to open our eyes another day and ask our blessings and give thanks in advance for our needs. Pick up your Bible and read for a few moments before you begin your day.. This is very difficult for me..I'm still trying to adjust this. I check phone, then go bathroom, then give thanks to our Father. I leave my reading for later in the day or even just before bed at night. Maybe if I read before I started my day and also before I actually end my day. I may just get the closeness that I'm desiring..
Anyway, try it. It is a promise from our Father in Heaven that if you ask you will receive. He does tell us, "I never said it would be easy, just that it would be worth it." (may not be verbatum) I was told while growing up, if you wished to speak to God, you must pray. If you want God to speak to you, you must read the Bible. But there actually comes a time while working toward all this, that you can spiritually speak to the Father in a back and fort conversation. That is the conversation I am aiming toward in getting.. How about you???
.

another weekend over

Well got alot accomplished this weekend. I finished my friends laundry so she would have clean clothes. She had like 7 or 8 loads.. 6 of them clothes two of them blankets.. I still haven't done the blankets yet. I'm taking a break from that.. I decided today to do the kitchen and bathroom downstairs and sweep the floors. That was enough for my back to handle. With the weather being the way it is, all my joints are just achey also.. So not fun.
Mike went up and visited his boss and give the return to work note, so he can start back in Jan. Can you believe it's been over six months since he's worked. I know it will do him well to get back in the mode of working. I just worry that after he sees the surgeon for the fistula and he actually starts dialasis, will he be strong enough to continue working..He's been through so much already, I just don't want him to go through more suffering.
The good news is, that I will have my portion of the insurance back. I can't wait! I will be able to see a Dr once more.. Talk about an answered blessing.. I needed for so long..This way, I can get back on the right track and get my butt back to doing all I did before. I am missing church, I'm missing my soup kitchen. I'm missing my life.. It's time to get my life back.. So it will be a good Christmas of answered prayers and blessings.
Thank you Lord for your love and kindness. Thank you for your arms wrapped around us, when we've needed it most..

Dec. 10

Well once again I'm way behind. It is hard to getting on the computer alot b/c it's Mike's only outlet on being bored. So I let him have it. I have my phone to do most things, so I don't really complain. I just don't think about trying to do my blog.
We had a really nice Thanksgiving. We ate at Deb and Kevin's house. It was a bit hectic in the beginning but ended very nicely. We were eating at two. We had the twins (melissa worked) So that meant we had to get a ride. Our truck only sits one passenger. I had to take the truck though, also, because Kaylee needed to be back for four for the nurse. We finally settled down to eat at like 2:45. By the time we finished eating and cleaned our places, it was time to repack Kaylee, her recliner and diaper bag into the truck, once again. I made it home by five of four. We waited around till five thirty. No nurse.. So after her feeding was done, I packed more essentials and meds and headed back for the evening. We had a fire pit and a nice dessert of sorts. It was awesome. We had plenty to be thankful for.
We decided to sell Mike's Harley finally. Between his illnesses and financial difficulties we knew we had to. He only got like half of what it was worth. But we took every advantage we could of it. We did an awesome Xmas shopping this year for the kids. It felt great to be able to do that. This is the first year we could do what we did this year. We even kept some, to put in the bank to secure a loan with it.. Need to pay off bills and build credit.
Mike has been released back to work, but hoping that his boss won't schedule him back on til Jan. He goes for a fistula consult Jan 9th. That is to discuss and schedule surgery to have two main veins combined for dialasis. If that doesn't work, then they will put a mock vein in. This will take 3 mos to heal and grow over to the normal vein it should be for complete acceptance of the dialasis and the vein won't blow from the pressure and so much pumping of fluid. He can then also be tested sometime after that to see if he can be a candidate of a kidney transplant. He has four people that have volunteered to donate. They will have to be throughly tested to see if they match. If they don't he will be put on a transplant list that is up to 8 years long.
He has more restrictions on his diet now. He is now on a diabetic, cardiac, low phosphus as well as low potassium diet now. Tell me what great meals can I cook this man on a very tiny food allowance. Most of the time we get our food fromt he food bank. B/c the cost of life and meds take such a HUGE chunk out of us as it is. But I have faith that Father in heaven will bless us to pull it off.
I've been helping my girlfriend with not only driving her kids home from school, but now at the salon with cleaning and answering phones. This weekend I'm doing her laundry. So hopefully that will help with some cash...
The driving is still paying for my haircuts, color, and straightning. She also trims the twins and Melissa's hair. I do Mike's. he's easy i just buzz his. LOL
I just got approved from the state a "cost sharing" medicaid. Check this out, I have to accumulate $1442 (a month) in order for them pay for anything. I know I have medical issues and I need meds on a monthly basis. But I can't see me running a bill of sorts "Every" month of that amount. I have to look for a new Dr as well, since we fired ours back in July. she nearly got Mike killed. She wasn't treating him for any of his ailments except diabetes. She was telling him that all her test didn't show kidney failure and the high blood pressure she was ONLY treating with a cholesteral pill. I mean come on, charge $250 for a walk in office visit (thank God for Bc/Bs and co pays) but for that price she should of been some sort of specialist.. And imagine she studied and worked at Columbia up North Massachuessetts for High blood pressure and helped put on the market some of the top meds.. But to prescribe to a patient when needed. NOPE why would she do that.. She rather not treat you for meds and have you come in More then needed and slowly kill you off. Nope I don't think so... So we fired her and Mike got a new and much much better Dr. She is AWESOME!!!!
Oh well, now that I've yet once again wrote a novel here.
I should make it a New Year's Resolution to try and keep up with this blogging.. I've not even written in my personal journal in ages.. I'm so far behind. Go figure.....

almost halloween

Can you believe that it's now almost the end of October. Melissa will have a birthday on the 24th. She will be 28 years old. Imagine that, I have a daughter almost thirty.. Geesh!
Mike is still out of work. Can you imagine after being in the hospital in July, his Blood Pressure is still high and sugar still bounces. Can't imagine. The heart Dr wants him to begin dialasis and the kidney dr wants to wait till his percentage working rate is down to 15-20%. He is at 25% right now. But Cardiologist doesn't see his BP coming down until he works the kidneys first. And in the meantime, he is still out of work. His short term TDI just ran out, now they began the process for the long term to begin. They sent out a pkt for us to fill out. Then it will take up to 45 days to kick in. Praying we don't have the same issues that wwe had before and start getting things shut off. I wonder where we would be w/o Melissa helping as much as she does.. She has been such a blessing.
I still drive my friend Jenai's kids home daily from school. This past week has sucked b/c she and I have been ill. She got the blunt of that one. When I'm feeling decent I clean for her and do laundry in return for cash. That helps alot. But between my flares and now the Crud and such we've had, I'm lucky I've done anything around here. Still have Kyla during the week while Melissa works. Kaylee now has a nurse 7 days a week. That is a huge help in and of itself. I'm not so stressed, even though she had been the eaasier child. Imagine that..
Hopeing things will fall into place soon. WE've missed so much church. I stopped going to soup kitchen b/c I just can't wake up in the mornings and keep up through the days. Now my schedule is like, I wake at 1, go to salon at 2 and pick up Jenai's truck, go get kids around 2:20. Go back to shop and hang till approx 5. then I get home start supper, take care of Kyla's needs til 7. Put on a movie for her till she falls asleep. I'm back in my bed by 8:30 and can't fall asleep til 3am or so.. Story of my life. But I'm so much more comfy in the bed then not.. I hate my furniture.. Well, at least I'm out of my bed now and doing stuff. not like years ago when I would only get out of bed to pee and fix food and be back in it for eternity.. Don't ever want that again..I will fight to keep that from happening..
Oh well, that's about it.. Not alot going on.. Especially not alot of happiness. I do read alot! I'm on a reading program though my phone/online. I'm reading right now on you version Psalms and Proverbs in 30 days. I'm doing through Gateway the old testiment. And on top of that I'm reading a book called In God's House.. Loveing it.. So I make sure that I spiritually stay connected. I will never lose that again.. Come to far to fall now... I love my God and don't want to lose that relationship that I'm starting to grow on.. JUST LOVING IT!!!
Well, good night till next time in catching up.. Will post more pics one of these days.. NIGHT

Record the following promises in your journal. Beside each promise, write the words of Psalm 23 that substantiate that promise. I have listed a few to help you get started.

God promises to meet every need in my life. “I shall not want.”
God gives me rest and peace. “He leads me beside quiet waters.”
God gives my life purpose and direction.___He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. _____________________________________
God comforts me when my heart is broken. __he restores my soul____________________________________
God promises that He will never leave me.__________for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. _____________________________
God gives me victory over my enemies. __Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, [fn] I will fear no evil, for you are with me_______________________________________
God promises me eternal life. __Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. _______________________________________________

Sunday 7th Aug

I'm trying to up load a pic of Melissa on her first day of school but of course it's not letting me. It's like I did my limit on here already. Oh well.
I over slept today and didnt make it to church. I was soo tired I couldn't wake at all. So I decided must need to just suck it up and roll over and get some more sleep. I slept till 15 mins before Melissa went to work. Imgine.. She scrambled out what not before she had to and ran out the door. Kyla decided it was time to see what she could do while mom is gone. I swear she does all of it on purpose. Let's act out while mom is gone. She was upstairs watching tv in her mom's room with her sister. So I went up there to go to the bathroom and talk to Mike. She decided while I was up there, she snuck downstairs and got in fridge and started to pulls things out she wanted. When she got to her sister's pediasure, she dropped it and the lid flipped off and spilled some of it through out fridge and in drawer that she left open. So she left all and came upstairs to tell us she spilled and make a mess. I was picturing a flood on my floor. But thank the good Lord on high, there wasn't.
Then I took off to my friend Jenai's house to pick up and pot roast dinner that she made and was giving us what was left over.I left Kyla with Mike. When I came in ,she was upstairs and Mike down in kitchen. I started reheating dinner and we ate and when she was done, she went back upstairs. I assumed to watch more tv with sissy. After awhile she comes down. I turn to look at her and tell her it's time to potty. when I noticed that she got ahold of her bangs again and chopped more off. (mind you this is second time) Now she looks like she tried to buzz her bangs...LOL Mike told her that she was going to start to look like his hair.. HA! His is longer now.
I asked her where she found scissors. She told me in Mommy's room. i said ok show me. As we walk up the steps I see my door open. I yelled down to Mike and tell him he left the door open. I'm surpised it was only scissors she got into. I don't want to imagine what else she could. She already tried to swipe pills fromhim and pop them in her mouth, while he was taking his. We went in there first and sure enough, on the floor is the scissors and a good chunk of hair.. UGH!!! I popped her butt for touching stuff in my room and put a diaper on her and sent her rear end to bed. Mind you it was like six thirty or so.She fell asleep around 7:30 but knew not to leave her room at all..
I told Mel, the rate we are going, Mike will have to be on one floor and me on the other.. So we can see her at all times.. Last time she was in Mel's room watching tv and wanted to get on Mel's laptop. Guess since she couldn't get into it (it's password set) she decided to pop off like six or so letters.. Store wanted to charge $55 to replace the key board. Mel worked it long enough and popped the letters but like 2 back on.. She said give her time and she'll get them on also..
It amazes me. I can't wait for Mel to change shifts so I will only have them third shift and we all are sleeping. I just cannot keep up with these guys anymore. Not during everything else going on... I guess. I'm too spent on life's other things...
Oh well, this too shall pass.

day of memories of this year

The first pic is of Mike just going into work. Can you tell he was in a really bad mood. We had a pretty good loud discussing LOL before he left.
Second is the Mike just waking up lol
Third is twins and I on Easter Sunday
Fourth is an updated pic of my son Jw. My word he is just about a man. I can't believe it..

updates from long ago.

Wow! I can't believe it's been so long since I last wrote. Mike went into the hospital for a week for high blood pressure as well as kidney failure yet again. Same as last November. Come to find out that our Dr we had was a flop. She took him off all the meds that the Dr's at the hospital prescribed him. She told us that there were better meds for him now and one wasn't any good for someone with diabetes. She also told him that she could do all blood work in her office and send it off. Oh and from looking at all his labs and tests she didn't see him having too much issue with his kidneys that they will work it and took him off the medicine they prescribed. The night of July 5th, he texts me and says, I can't breathe. It's like the humidity is taking my breath away. I tell him, i bet it's your Blood Pressure. Your sugar is out of whack and you dont eat right, so I'm sure your BP is high.. We went to the Dr the next morning after he told me that morning when i went to let my friend's dogs out that he wanted to see the dr that he couldn't breathe and he wanted to go to the drs. So i called and got him in as soon as they would let him. His Blood pressure was 220/114. She said she wanted him to go to ER right away. She wanted him admitted to be monitored by a specialist..
We weren't in the ER an hour and we found out that the meds she put him on weren't any of them for BP. They were cholesteral meds and tricliserides. So for 8 months he hadn't been treated for his hypertension.I had had it, so had Mike. We were done. We told the hospital, that if she ever called for records or reports that you know nothing and we want nothing to do with her ever again..
He was diagnosed with Ischemic Heart Disease. He is in kidney failure. He is now on 10 different medications... He had almost 35lbs of water weight. He had edema from his toes to his face. The edema was squeezing his heart and lungs. That was why he couldn't breathe. Today he looks like he did (weight wise) in high school. The Dr was totally impressed on how well the Lasix is working. Since he was discharged, they only had to increase one of his BP meds. He does well in the mornings, but by late afternoon, early evening it would spike. Now after the increase, his BP is just about perfect.
He had people all over the states and different parts of the world praying for him. God had heard and answered our prayers. He had blockage in the heart, but after testing found it wasn't enough to put stents in. He was told that highly possible that he would need dialasis for the kidneys would completely shut down from the test for his heart. God took the other road and made she he didnt. There were different things that he had been blessed with. Amazingly, Mike was so touched with all the people visiting him from church and the help that was given there as well at our home, and the love and prayers just convinced him, this is the place he needed to be. Amongst the love and fellowship of this wonderful Godly church family. He determined from then on that he was going to commit to The Lord and commit to going to church and giving it his all.
Well July 15th We were babptized in this fabulous new Gospel of life. We are one membership class away from becoming full fledge members of this wonderful church. I was sick the day of that one class and the whole family decided not to go. Melissa never went back to class, but Mike and did. With Mels schedule, she rarely makes it to church. On Weds nights when we go, we take the girls with us, so we can go. Kyla adores the nursery..Kaylee stays with us.
The twins had their 4th birthday. Can you believe I'm a grandma of 4 yr olds. Love it! We've been sitting for Melissa while she works. Before I had ppl coming to help me. But now we wing it. Kyla can be such a hand full. She is mouthy, fresh, full of so much energy, doesn't listen, and when scolded or spanked she laughs at times. Alot! She is still potty training at 4. Amazing huh? I know she is behind in things. So it took longer for it to kick in. But amazes me how spiteful she ccan be with it. She would much rather wet herself then use the potty. we use bribes of treats(m&m's, cookies, grapes, blueberries, crackers, fish, etc) and still she plays it. We think that she is jealous. Kaylee wears diapers, kaylee goes to school, Kaylee gets things she can't have (even though she gets more), Mommy goes to work and leaves her on a daily basis and poor Kyla is home. We know that she knows when she needs to go, she has told on some occassions, "I go potty" and she goes. Then there is times, she will just open her legs and watch herself go on the floor.. UGH!!!
Jw is coming on the 16th. Im praying that I can get him to stay for good. I've had people telling me that John is not fit for live in parenting. And he is not spending hardly any time with Jw. John is getting an upcoming job that will have him away from JW even more so. Being that this isn't the first time that I've been told about John's parenting wasn't right. I think it's time to take over and keep him with me.. I just pray sooo hard that I can convince him and his father this is the place where he needs to be. He needs a better life. Besides the only reason why Jw wants to go back is because of his youth group. The kids treat him awful at school and he doesn't have it any better at home. So I am hoping youth will be just as great here and he falls in love quickly.. I pray that God will hear my heart and help..
Ok I think that's about it. Now that I wrote a novel here. I'll close. I think I caught everyone up now:0)

Spiritual Sundays

I tell you, I'm in my glory when I can get up on a Sunday morning and be able to go to church. Most Sundays I've been going alone b/c no one wants to wake up and go. Most of the time, I've usually had like 3 hours sleep. Mike keeps me awake while he works, texting me. Last night he got a night off. What a great night. We got to snuggle for the night. I love that, and then to get a full nights sleep together. Can't get any better then that.
Now mind you, I've spent weeks praying for Mike and my family. Today he actually went with me to church. I know he was feeling the spirit in it's truest forms. It just touched my heart. That's how I know that Father answers prayers. It may not be right away, but in His time, He will. The best, was how Pastor Mark walked back, gave Mike a "guy" hug and told him, how much he enjoyed seeing him there. Prays he is feeling well and that he misses him when he is not there. It just filled my heart. For a congregation of over 700. To walk up to a part timer and call them by name, just warms me..
We have been learning about "back to the basics". The basic foundational issues. How Jesus is the ONLY way back to our Father.
"It says in the bible that " I am the WAY and the TRUTH and the LIFE. No one comes to the Father except through ME."
So if this be the case, then w/o Christ and his blessings, We will not make it back to live eternally to our father. We cannot do it all alone. The other thing that struck out to me was that "how much do you have to hate a person to not share your faith" that was from Penn (from Penn and teller) who is an Athiest. He said, respectfully, even though I'm Athiest, I give Christians the utmost respect when they present to me their God. It's like if a truck was coming and was bounding in to hit you. What would it take for me to convince you? If not I was going to either takle you or pick you up and move you out of the way. That is how you should believe in your God and go to every aspect in life to tell others your beliefs. B/c He is either the Lord of all or He is the Lord of nothing. It's your choice.
Talk about over powerful. It just fills my soul to know where I am at today in my life and desire this love for all I come in contact with..
Love it.. To hear it for yourself you can go to www.mlpc.org and listen to the live streaming.

girl friends in God post for today...

I can remember growing up and when I would say my prayers, that it was a daily ritual of usually the same things over and over each day. And things didn't usually change up until something drastic happened or I really needed something from the Lord at the time. So this story from GIG really struck a chord.
I love how I've grown today and how my daily prayers have changed. I have what I call prayer rides as well. when I drive Mike to work, usually once or sometimes, lucky enough for twice a week, I spend the drive along the country hwy alone, talking to God. Just spilling out a conversation like I would have with my best friend. I love it. It refreshes me and feels like I just spent a one on one time, like I would with my best friend. It's awesome! But below is the story that GIG sent my inbox today....

Emergency! Emergency!

Sharon Jaynes

Today’s Truth
“I call on you, O God, for you will answer me; give ear to me and hear my prayer” (Psalm 17:6 NIV).

Friend To Friend
My husband, Steve, graduated from dental school in 1981. In the beginning I was his only employee: his dental hygienist, dental assistant, receptionist, and insurance clerk. On the days that I was not helping him, I worked for another dentist in town. I was so exhausted most of the time that our joke became, "Sharon works six days a week and cries on the seventh."

One thing that amazed me when we started his practice was all the emergency phone calls that Steve received on nights and weekends. I usually answered the phone, and asked the caller several questions, one of which was, "Mrs. Jones, how long have you been having this problem?" Invariably the patient would say, "three days," "two weeks," "a month." I always thought, So why did you wait until Saturday to call? Of course, being the sweet person that I am, I never said that.

One night the phone rang at about 2:00 a.m. I groggily picked up the phone and managed a weak, "Hello."

"Hello," said the caller. "My son is having a terrible toothache. Is the doctor in?”

Where did she think he would be other than "in" at 2:00 in the morning? (OK, I’m being grumpy again.) "Yes ma'am, he is. How long has this tooth been bothering your son?"

"Oh, I'd say for about two weeks," she answered.

So why did you wait until now to call...thought, not said, of course. Something didn’t feel right about the call. Then I asked, "Ma'am, and how old is your son?"

She answered, "27. My son is 27-years-old."

I was so shocked that I quickly sat up in the bed, accidentally jerking the phone cord out of the wall and disconnecting the caller. She did not call back. I had envisioned a distraught mother with a crying five-year-old. But twenty-seven!

I laid back down complaining and grumbling. "Lord, why is it that people won't go to the doctor regularly but only want help on demand when they have an emergency?"

When I got quiet enough to listen, I heard Him say…"Now you know how I feel."

Let’s Pray
Dear Lord, forgive me for only talking to you when I have a problem that needs fixing or a situation that needs solving. How it must hurt You when Your children come to You always asking for something, rather than simply telling You how much we love You. Today, I just want You to know how much I love you! In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn
How do you feel when your children only come to you when they want something?

When was the last time you went to God with an “emergency” prayer?

When was the last time you went to God with an “I love you” prayer?

Write out a prayer to God, simply telling Him how much you love Him.

Here’s a challenge. Log onto my Facebook page and tell me 3 reasons you love God today. www.facebook.com/sharonjaynes

Falling in love over and over

On this day, God wants you to know
... that a successful relationship requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. Always with the same person, but deeper and deeper every time. Each time on a whole new level you together open in love and discover the truth of your beloved anew. There is no limit to the beauty of your beloved. If you think you've reached the end, stop generalizing...
I took this from a friend of mine on FB. It hit me, Mike sent me a text the other night, that said, "I have to tell you how much I love you. How I'm falling in love with you like it was the first time." I was even more flabbergasted when he told me that he wanted to renew our vows together. The amazing part of that is how he tells me, he wants to marry me b/c HE WANTS to marry me, not b/c he has to. He felt that back when we married, he "had" to b/c there was no one to take care of me. My mom past away, my dad remarried and moved away. There was no one else to take care of me. But now, 8 years later he feels that he has fallen head over heals in love with me and wants to renew our vows in the right way to prove it.. How awesome is that?? I just adore every bit of that... He is totally awesome!!!

Haylee's fish

This used to be Mike's fish tank. LOL Haylee has taken over. Now if only she could feed them and fill the water every few days. LOL Haylee is so funny, she will chase the sharks and bark at them and scratches the glass, tries to bite them. It's halarious. We just love it. It's such entertainment.. LOL

birthdays

Well It's Mike's birthday today. He is 50 years old. Come Saturday I'll be 40. Can you actually believe it?? I never thought this day would ever come. But it's just about here.
What a month. I've had yet another kidney stone. I actually finally past one, so I could bring it into the Dr and get it annalyzed. Thank you Father in heaven! All the prayers, begging Him to let me save at least one of the 3 that has popped in my body. After the Dr told me to forget about it and put all my things away. This stone has disappeared in your body too. So I did. She gave me a script for Eurethritis and sent me home with another refill of the Lortabs for my fibro flares. That night after doing what I was told, I popped it.. I went in first thing Monday and dropped off my new baby for testing. I was so proud of that thing...
Anyway, then we were knocked on our buts last week. I started that Saturday with a bad allergy attack. Even the Dr told me if the over the counter meds didn't work to come back and she would write a script for a stronger med. But funny thing was a few days later, Kyla got the runny nose, Mike started getting it, Melissa and Kaylee. So I would say, NOpe not allergies. Mike got it so bad, that he got fevers and vomiting with it.. When that started, I started getting worse and worse. I have a great med. for vomiting. As soon as I feel like I'm going to, I pop this pill and it dissolves on my tongue and it stops the urge. You bet I was taking that everytime I got nauscious. We spent 5 straight days in the bed.
The 15th we were suppose to get Baptized in our new church. But we were both so ill that we just couldn't bare to even leave the bed to go. We are so depressed. Me more so then Mike. I've waited all year to get baptized. When Mike finally returned to work last night. He told me how he felt the pit of evilness coming to him. He started doubting the need for baptism. But after thinking about it last night, he knew he needed it just as much. So I emailed Pastor Mark and asked when he would be doing baptisms again. We so want to as soon as we can.
Anyway, Saturday we are having a surprise birthday party here at the house. Mike thinks it's a family birthday party. We have five of us, born the end of may. So he thinks it's a joint family party. Boy will he be surprised when he finds it's an over the hill party for him. LOL Can't wait.
But that is about all that is new around here. So write more after the weekend. I'll have pics to upload then also. FUN huh???