Well we managed to get through two birthdays and enjoyed a great dinner and cake together with family. It was great! Melissa cooked supper and baked a cake and all. We were so impressed. Life has been making some world wind changes in my husband. I just cannot believe how in the world he has been changing. He is becoming a totally new man. First he now encourages me to pay our tithing, then he goes through his clothes and takes out all that is not pleasing to our Lord. Amazed! Yes I am. Now as of last night, he wants to go to a worship service this up coming sunday night where they are teaching about receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost. Wow! Does Mike not want to be just a bench warmer any logner??? He also volunteered to baby sit three out of four of the most hyperest children in all time. He says, " what can be no worse then Kyla and I handle her just fine." I was shocked. Ok Bud, now my friend and her daughter can go to our sisterhood weekend and not worry. He is even going in and getting permission to switch around his dialysis treatment, just so he can watch them on Saturday morning as well. How awesome is this?? Is this really my "new and improved" husband?? lol I'm all for it.. I've been working with a friend from church on getting a woman's group here at my house to be able to do a bible study, fellowship, crafting, what ever with their children. We want to call it "mommy and me" group. Awesome. I can't wait.. Our life just seems to be growing in the direction it should of been a very long time ago.. But hey, God doesn't count your past, he just helps you look forward to your future. How impressive is that??

Sometimes I get so frustrated. I am a very relying person on my God. I go to him for everything that I need to do in my daily walk of life. I trust in all that he will give me. But I also believe that he expects us to do things for ourselves. If we are ill, rely on the Dr's if need be. (he put physicians on the Earth for this purpose) If there a better lifestyle to live, allow God to show you. If your drag yourself down and over do your body will eventually drop from exhaustion. God will bless you in your service, but he also expects you to take care of yourself, in order to take care of others. Sleep and rest is very important not only physically but emotionally and psychologically also. Same goes with our diets. God gave us foods that we can grow and eat, or buy food that has been grown. When we continue to put processed foods, that are full of garbage, additives and such in our bodies, eventually it catches up. We get sick, we develop health issues. If there are things out there to help us strengthen our bodies and rebuild what we have broken down inside our bodies and strengthen our immune systems. I'm just surprised more people don't jump aboard and do it. Wouldn't a person rather put all natural things in their bodies to rebuild then drugs that mask and cover up the problems? Yes prescription drugs are cheaper(today) but what happens a few years down the line, while your were taking a med that helped an issue but ate away at your liver or kidneys? Gave your ulcers or eroded the lining of your esophagus and stomach. You had to reconstuct the pathway to the bowel tract? Do you get what I'm saying? Why do people put themselves through this? I did for many years. It's all I know. We do what we have been conditioned to do. Our parent's did it, why can't we. Isn't it time to break the cycle and do what we can to be healthier then our parents? To live longer then our parent's? Do you have a family member that died at a young age, from a disease, they could of most likely prevented? Heart attack, diabetes, stroke, fibromyalgia, the list can become a mile long... I know I do. I want to rebuild myself, get down to the inner cellular level and rebuild my damaged cells and develop healhtier ones. Do you think I like being known as lazy? All that lady does is lay around the house and sleep, do nothing. She has to hire someone else to clean her home (the simple household chores any one can do) But if I did them, I have to lay back down after each task and regroup for 30 mins or so. Do I enjoy every time it rains or the barmetric pressure changes drastically, to gets migraines, and such severe pain, all I want to do is cry and take hand fulls of meds to try and get rid of the issue . 90% of the time, it only brings the pain level down to a place where I can move again.. I want my life back. I'm 40 years old and I move around most days like Im 80. Heck I've seen some 80 year olds that move better then I do. I knew a lady who would til her garden or flower beds with a maddox and plant all her things by hand. She would play her neighborly rolls and dig up flowers and veggies and deliver by hand boxes to neighbors around her. Just to say, Hey thank you for being you. thank you for saying hi everytime you drive by. Wouldn't you like to be that way? I know I would. Well if someone would tell you they found a product that would do that for you. In just 2 oz a day you can start a process that will change your whole life for the better, for years to come. Yes, every one is hesitant at first. How can a product be so great and do so much. Well, first off 99% of most ailments are started on a cellular level. No? Autoammune diseases, surely are and many more. So why not try a product someone tells you, it works wonders. NOT JUST FOR ME, but check out these thousands of people who tried and look at them today. Well, that is what I did. I took one's word and decided if it could do it for them, and the other thousand out there, why couldn't it do it for me? Heck especially if it's 100% empty bottle, money back guarentee. (30 days) I jumped aboard and tried. In thirty days, I went from migraines to slight headaches, I went from severe pain to tolerable pain, hmm ok so far, it's doing something. Lets try for another thirty days. Wow! I took less pain meds this month. By the end of the month, I was able to stop taking my daily depression meds, my fibro meds (lyrica and neurontin) and I've not had a migraine all month.. Wow! Let's do another month and see if I can totally get off my night time sleep meds and such. I've been able to do laundry and clean my bathroom and not lay down to regroup. There's a plus! My husband has received more energy since he got sick. He still runs circles around me, but more so now. He does more in a days time, then he did in years. He brought the product to his dr and his doctor was like, oh yes, I like it.. Keep taking it.. sent his dr home with a sample and info for it.. Why not.. So now, what is the way, you present it to another. It's all natural it's less then $1.50 a day. and look at the benifits.. It's backed by Dr Roizen and Dr Oz. Alot of the celebraties and sports stars take it.. They are raving how it give more energy and no viruses and such. College students are taking it and getting better grades and are more alert. They take Verve, instead of red bull or monster drinks for surge of energies and no crash afterward. Better performaces from them. Granted there are so many Healthy schemes out there as well as so many health alternatives. Not saying one is better then the other. You have to find the one that works for you and run with it. This is my health of choice (I've tried a few) but nothing seems to do what Vemma has done for us. I hope you can find something that will work this way for you also. I don't know about you, but I would love to live to be over 100 and still be able to function in my everyday life. But until then, I'm doing what I can just to function as a 40 year old should function (not a sick 80 year old) I still rely on God for my spiritual needs, but I still rely on what God has granted others to teach and help also. that is why they were put on earth to do. Why not take advantage of it. It God wanted you to fully 100% rely ONLY on him, he wouldn't have had dr's and resources to help him along the way also. (I may not have worded it correctly, but I hope you understand on what I mean.. Love and hugs to all who are reading this, and I hope no one has gotten offended in any way. Hope you have a blessed week. That is my Monday thoughts..

Well is moving along. It's now May and we are living day by day. Mike goes in on his birthday (18th) to get his PD port (belly) for home dialysis. Then he won't have to go to the center three days a week. He is so excited about this. We still have to take a trip down to Tampa, to get him tested for transplant and get put on the list. He has done so many changes in the year. I'm so impressed with him. Last year he got really mad at me for paying tithing with his money. This year he insists on it. First right off the top. I'm like Yes, he finally sees the blessing and what tithing can bless you with. He has started singing each week. Mike doesn't sing. Just that the spirit over comes and you can't help but sing. He has gained so much of a testimony going through this hardship. He has been talking to everybody about Vemma and how it has worked on his body. He has so much energy and such. People can't get over it. He's brought in samples and paperwork, so all can see. I'm going to be having a birthday party the end of the month for a friend here. Then on the 2nd of June, I will be having a jewelry party. July, my sister in law is moving down and will be staying with us, till she finds a place. Life is going to be so busy around here. Jw will be coming the end of July, beginning of Aug to spend the month with us. Man I can't wait. I miss him so much! I've been growing spritually daily. I try and read daily (nightly) the Word and apply it. I do a women's bible study. we are learning the women in the bible and what roles they played leading to Jesus' life. Then on my personal studies, I'm learning about getting closer to my Father and receiving the gift of tongues. I'm so wanting to have the closeness to my Father and be able to climb up in his lap and have him hold me. I so want to become a close as I can to Him. It says in the bible that you must confess ALL of your sins in life and come clean before God and then the spirit will start opening up you mind and heart to be able to. I so wondered what it was in my life that was not confessed and forgiven. I was presented back to our sister hood weekend and what had been brought out then. OH!!! You would think (never just assume or think) that was so long ago, it was forgotten. So I represented it to Him and asked for my forgiveness. I now, have gone from, ok I'm getting words formed in my mind and when i repeat outloud, another word forms. Then I pray to my Father please make it known to me that it is the spirit telling me these words or is it Satan helping me along. There is a book out that Pastor Mark talked about, that I'm looking at getting. So when payday comes I will see about it. But for now, I'm reading "Princess unaware" and learning more and more each day. It has alot of biblical references and reading references to interact in with the scripture. how cool is that??? But that is where life has been for me so far. Just learning a little more every day..

new days new dreams

Life has just been so exciting. I'm just plunging into things and really seeing how life is going to work in me. I joined the prayer team at church and really just adore it. I feel connected to others and God more this way. I've been wanting to do this for so long. Now I can.
I also, joined back up with Vemma. I'm loving it! I've done alot of praying about all of this. God is walking beside me in my adventure. I'm really excited. My first big project in this, is going to be a business table at our Women's weekend at church. I'm so excited. I ordered a business kit and samples and feeling the urger to try and order more samples. I'm so excited.
Mike has people interested in it at the dialysis center and I think that can get to be a huge business boom! So I think as long as I don't let my head swell to big and I walk side by side with God and let him carry me through, we may indeed make something with this... I can't wait.
I decided that I will start the weight loss program that Vemma has, which is called Bod.e. And see how that will effect with me. I'm going to work another person (Jenai possibly) to The only other exciting thing is that my son is going to be 16 this upcoming week on the 19th. I can't believe my baby isn't a baby at all anymore.. WOW! I can't wait til he can come down this summer. I miss him so so so much!!!
That's about it.. Mike is still working to get started on the beginning process of doing home dialysis. Poor guy. He hates going to the clinic every other day. Which I can't blame him. He is getting great fellowship in, but still would prefer to be home doing it. I love the idea that he is interacting with others on a christian basis as well as a promoter basis for the company:)

beginning of a new week.

Now that we are just about in the month of February and the end of Jan. hmm what's new? Mike got his tunnel cathater for dialysis on Weds last week and then Saturday, he started his first day. He came home and slept most of the day. Sunday he was a bit laid back. We didn't make it to church and I didn't want to push it. But by this morning he seemed to look good and he said he felt good. We went to the surgeon's office today for a follow up. He told Mike that the veins in the left arm were not well enough to do the fistula. So now he has to go back Weds. and get a veno-gram on the right arm to see if it's better. Then have another follow up next monday..
Fun fun fun!! I know we've just started in the dr's appts and such, but man, I'm tired now, can you imagine when it all kicks into gear at once. I'm doomed.. He will be just the same. I just have more on my plate.. he just sits back and gets rides and shows up for what is needed. I have to scout for sitters and make sure Jenai has her kids squared away and such.. None are my kids and I worry so.. how come?? I just feel bad b/c they are my job (so to speak) and when you can't make your shift, you tend to find someone else to fill in for you. That is how I think about the kids.
But usually I'm blessed to know that I have such great family and friends here in Crestview and they are always there to jump and help when needed. Thnak GOD for that.. What more could we ask for...
Been reading daily in the Bible twice if I can morning and night and alot of times if I'm in the Dr's office waiting for Mike on something I will try and read some also. I'm not in Ecclesiates.. I'm so excited. I'm actually going to complete the book in no time at all and I'll be able to say, " I've read the WORD cover to cover." I've never done that before. I'm so excited about that. I then will be picking up a study guide and really going to study the Bible and get into it to learn it.. That I'm really wanting to do, but swore I wouldn't until I've conquered the entire book reading it first..
Kyla has picked up the word Ya'll it's so funny. She had a bag of gummy worms that she was eating for a snack..She calls them dummy worms. LOL and still calls lollipops, wee pops. I love it.. love it love it..

news update ending of January

Well, Mike went for his chest Xray and veno-gram. He now goes tomorrow to Pensacola to get his chest Cath. so he may begin dialysis Saturday Morning. My poor guy is getting more and more depressed and the day come on. I feel so badly for him. All I can do is pray for him and let God fill his voids and love him through it all.
Today I went to my Dr and asked for something to help with my depression/anxiety. I've had my due. Sometimes, it's easier to allow some help then try to conqueor life all alone. Dr also thinks it will help me in the long run while taking the Lyrica with the Prozac, that it should work better together and help more. He also referred me to the pain clinic so I can try and work better with the Lortabs and Flexeral. He's worried about me taking too much. I think I do very well. I take one to two Tabs a day and my ten mg Flex. I take 1/2 tab at bedtime. When I have a really major flare up, I will take a tab and a whole flex to get through. But that is a rare occassion...If there is something out there that is better then those, then by all means, I will try them. But until they can find anything, I'm sticking to what I'm doing now.. What more can I do?
Had plans to head to church tonight. But when service starts at 6:30 and I just can't push myself to making on time. We missed out once again. But we've been doing pretty well on making Sundays.
I've done very well on my 21 day chocolate and junk fast. I've had no chocolate, no ice cream, no junk food. My only junk flaw all day has been coffee with flavored creamer. I drink a travel mug a day and at most a mug before that one. Usually it's only the travel mug. For my midnight snacking, if I'm awake at that time, is veggie crackers by wheat thins or wheat thins. I do have rice cakes in my snack drawer, but I've not touched them since I bought them.
This will help me lose some poundage. I got on the scale at the Dr's clinic today and was like OH BOY!!!! The Dr tried to make me feel better by telling me that he has so many patients that would give my weight and for my blood panels.. I had great blood panels. My cholesteral is a bit high but not too much to worry. He said to start taking Omega 3's and it should start coming back down. I said, yep and along with my 21 day fast of junk will help totally also.. LOL he was amazed that I was doing that and proud in the long run also.. how cool is that??
Oh well, that's about all that is new right now.. Update more laters....

not so great news...

Mike had a Dr's appt today at the kidney Dr. He had to go alone today b/c someone had to stay home with the kids. His appt was at 3:30. Around 4:30 the dr's nurse calls me to inform me that Mike will be needing to begin dialysis next week. He is too sick to wait for the fistula placement and the three month wait for it to heal. So he will be going soon in for the surgical placement tube for peritoneal dialysis:
In this type of dialysis, your blood is cleaned inside your body. The doctor will do surgery to place a plastic tube called a catheter into your abdomen (belly) to make an access. During the treatment, your abdominal area (called the peritoneal cavity) is slowly filled with dialysate through the catheter. The blood stays in the arteries and veins that line your peritoneal cavity. Extra fluid and waste products are drawn out of your blood and into the dialysate. There are two major kinds of peritoneal dialysis
Then in time if he is able to do so he can get the surgery to have the hemodialysis which then he can have dialysis at home:
In hemodialysis, an artificial kidney (hemodialyzer) is used to remove waste and extra chemicals and fluid from your blood. To get your blood into the artificial kidney, the doctor needs to make an access (entrance) into your blood vessels. This is done by minor surgery to your arm or leg.

Sometimes, an access is made by joining an artery to a vein under your skin to make a bigger blood vessel called a fistula.

However, if your blood vessels are not adequate for a fistula, the doctor may use a soft plastic tube to join an artery and a vein under your skin. This is called a graft.

Occasionally, an access is made by means of a narrow plastic tube, called a catheter, which is inserted into a large vein in your neck. This type of access may be temporary, but is sometimes used for long-term treatment.
He may also be a candidate for a kidney transplant. He has a few people in line for donation. We had four, but one ended up with kidney stones like I have and can't do it now. Out of the three that are left, one is his sister. She may possibly be the closests in being a match. If none of them are a match he will be on a waiting list. This can take up to ten years to reach availability.
In the meantime we are asking for all the prayers we can get. This can be very tireing for Mike and he can be sick with it all. It's a really rough treatment. He will start by going to the dialysis clinic three times a week for four hour days. That is enough to make anyone tired.
My heart breaks for him. I so wish I could do all this for him. I have enough ailments, what is it to add another. I know it's so rough on him. I know it bothers him to be in this state. He is always the tough, strong bred earner. He is the care taker, not the one being taking care of. So it's rough. So please keep him in your prayers.
I pray for myself for strength. I am not the healthiest. I have my own issues. I need to be able to put aside my issues and be strong to maintain, not only taking care of him, but now taking care of the babies alone, while Melissa works. She is our biggest financial help. We depend on her for that. So I need to be able to take care of the girls while she works. Granted we have a nurse that deals with kaylee. But they are not always here. There are days when a nurse can't be. So it's up to me to take over that. I have to give up my time at the shop. I'm not sure about the driving of the kids Tues-Fridays. I may be able to take Kyla with me each day. But must be home in time for kaylee to get off the bus at 3:50 each day. Have to be available to get Mike to dialysis and pick him up those three days a week. And until Melissa gets her truck fully running, I will have to transport her to and from work. So yes, I pray for strength and endurance to get through this until some things ease up...
In Jesus name I pray and in His name I ask for all this. And with faith I know that NOTHING is too big to ask of Him. So I thank Him in advance for all my answered prayers.. Amen...